The Canyons
by my-wayward-dixon
Summary: Kate has come to Cainville to work for her 'uncle' Walter and to get away from a troubled life; she finds comfort in the arms of Mac, the local bad-guy, and finds out that things aren't what they seem.
1. Chapter 1

**CH 1: Welcome to the Canyons/ Cainville**

The sun was finally setting in the valley, making the red hills glow; it had reached well over 100* that day, so the air, still hot and sticky, had not yet relinquished its hold on the small town. It was a Friday night so the local bar, the Luna Mesa, harbored all of the whores and dealers after their long day; there were no respectable people here.

I sat at the bar, poured myself a whiskey and waiting for some sort of entertainment, typically in the form of a bar brawl; hell, some nights one of the local whores would drop to her knees and entertain a whole line of men before passing out. I was 28 and had moved to the small town nestled in the center of the badlands of Utah about a month ago, at the request of my 'uncle' Walter. Walter and my step-dad had been close friends up to my parents' death 8 weeks ago; I was left alone in Austin, Texas, finishing up my degree and dealing with my parents' deaths. I had two brothers, but I stayed away from them- they had both abused me when I was younger, tying me up and making me watch them jack off, suck their dicks, or rape my girlfriends; they had been kicked out by their mother after I finally divorced their father, the man responsible for teaching his boys how to…be men. My brothers were now scattered somewhere in the US, no doubt drugged out of their minds and responsible for many more rapes and probably a couple of murders by now. I was alone in the world, but I liked it that way, the abuse I went through made me strong and unwilling to take anyone's shit.

The smoke in the bar drifted lazily by me head as the people got louder and louder. I fiddled with the empty whiskey glass and watched the people becoming more and more drunk as Walter served them their drinks. I had adjusted to this place quickly, and I enjoyed my job, the night bartender, using my psychology skills to coax people in to drinking more than they ordinarily would. Tonight I had come in before my shift; just to drink a couple of shots and get a feel for what the night would hold. Walter refilled my glass and I smiled out of the corner of my mouth and closed my eyes letting the alcohol do its job.

My graduation day was in early June, in Texas this meant that it was far too hot, so when I put the graduation gown on over my shorts and tank top, I was already sweating. Before my parents died, I was in the running for valedictorian, but that goal faded quickly as I let my grades drop little by little. When I walked across the stage, I expected only a couple of claps, mostly from my friends or teachers who had been helping me through the ordeal, so I was surprised when I heard my name being shouted and a mass applause as I took my diploma; I now held a bachelor's degree in psychology. I smiled simply as I crossed the rest of the stage and wandered down the steps toward the parking lot, I had no desire to throw my cap or mingle with anyone; my parents had been so excited to see me walk, so that is who I did it for, their spirits…or whatever. As I reached my car I saw a man leaning against it, smiling and clapping lightly.

"Congratulations, Kate. They'd be so proud of you" Knowing he meant my parents, I eyed him, he was familiar, but I was cautious.

"Yeah, how the fuck do you know?" I spat- my temper always raging.

"I'm Walter; I was a friend of your Dad's" he said. He had a look of sadness in his eyes, pity.

"Ok then" I said simply, passing him to get to the driver's side door.

"I received a letter from your Dad's lawyer." he said, following me.

I stopped and looked at him, glaring- my default facial expression. "And?"

"He wanted me to take care of you…should anything happen to him or your mother"

"I don't need anyone to take care of me"

"Might be good to come on out and take a break from the city"

"I don't need a break" I slid in to the car and slammed the door shut.

"You used to love it out there" he said though the closed window.

I sighed and rolled the window down, taking the bait.

"Out where?" I asked- my curiosity piqued.

"Out in the desert, the red canyons in Utah. You used to play out in the canyons for hours, ya played with my son, Mac."

God I did know him, and Mac…man I had a thing for him back when they were younger.

"Hmmph" I said not wanting to give away interest.

"I have a place for you to live, and I have a job iffin' ya want it." He said, eying me.

"Like I said man, I don't need to be taken care of". I rolled my window up, started the car and back out, watching him in my rear-view window as I left.

When I got home to my small little flat just outside the city, I ripped off the gown and stuffed it in the garbage can in front of the garage before walking in; the house was musty and confining.

"Fuck!" I shouted, knowing the damn air conditioner had pissed out again. I walked to the fridge to get out a cold beer to help cool me off and relax me from the strange encounter. I pulled the fridge door open and sighed…the light didn't come on and it was barely cold inside.

"FUCK!" I said louder.

"Kate- That you?" a voice came from the bedroom. I slammed the door shut and walked back to the bedroom door; it was closed and locked.

"Ryan? I thought you had to work" we had been dating for 6 years, but things were strained since…the accident. I jiggled the knob.

"Open up, what are you doing?"

"Hang on…I just…I'm not dressed" he shouted back

I could hear rustling and two distinct voices, one was Ryan's, and the other was a woman's.

"Ryan, open the fucking door, you cheating prick" I had suspicions, but never thought he would actually be dumb enough to prove me right. I threw my shoulder in to the door and after a few times it gave. The girl was in the middle of pulling on her shirt, and Ryan was opening the window for her to climb out.

"Really? This is what you do Ryan?" I was furious.

"Kate…it doesn't mean anything" He said pleading. The girl looked at him, hurt.

"You couldn't keep it in your pants, Ryan, you had to find a fucking whore and fuck her in MY bed, in MY house." I was throwing things now, aiming for his head. I looked at the girl, still messing with a button that was stuck in her hair. Walking over to her, I ripped the shirt out of her hair, causing her to cry out.

"Get the fuck out of my house you little cunt." The girl ran out without her shoes, clutching her head where the hair had been ripped out.

"Kate…" Ryan said calmly. I knew he was going to try to charm me in to forgiveness; before the accident I would have fallen for it, but this was too much. I slapped his out stretched hand and turned to grab the lamp from the dresser by the door. Before I had even decided what I wanted to do with it, it was breaking around his head. He had cried out and fell to the floor; I stood over his motionless body and kicked him in the stomach as hard as I could, then ran from the house, tears stinging my eyes. When I got out to my car, I realized I'd left my keys inside, but I was not going back in to retrieve them.

"Fuck him, fuck it all" I spat to herself. I had burned so many bridges of late that I had nowhere to go, no place to feel safe. I couldn't really place why I was so angry all the time, I had no defining reason, I only knew that it was consuming me. Most of the people I knew had stopped calling or coming over after I had made it clear I was not going to therapy.

"I'm a fucking psychologist; I don't need the bullshit from another shrink!" I knew most psychologists saw other psychologists, but that wasn't the point.

I climbed into my car, knowing that I couldn't leave, but needing a familiar place to think. I closed my eyes tightly and pounded my hands on the steering wheel. My heart was racing and I was crying, unable to believe what I had witnessed.

_He missed my graduation so he could fuck that girl_

There was a rap on the window and I jumped, expecting Ryan and a fight, but it was Walter. He had the same serene look on his face and he simply stood there, outside my window, waiting for me to accept him.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes, and rolled the window down. Walter bent down and rested his arms on the door panel; I could smell cigarettes and whiskey, and something else I couldn't place.

"You ready to come home, girl?" he asked. I dropped my head, knowing I had no other choice.

"Yes" was all I said.

The next day they were in the Luna Mesa and he was teaching me how to mix drinks and showing me around the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

**CH 2: The game**

Something hitting my chair knocked me out of my memory, bringing me back to the bar filled with smoke and laughter. Mac was sitting on the bar stool next to me, his legs spread on either side of me.

"Kate, why aren't you on your knees?" he asked sneering.

"Because I am not a whore, Mac, and there is no way I am putting anybody's nasty dick in my mouth." I replied not looking at him. I was insanely attracted to him, still, but he was a cocky mother fucker, and letting him gain any upper hand would be a huge mistake on my part.

"You know my dick ain't nasty, and you'll fucking suck it if I want you to suck it." He said aggressively

"Eat me, Mac" He didn't scare me; he knew it.

"Oh you have no idea how nice that sounds babe" he scooted closer to me so I could smell him; dirty, greasy, manly. He brought his hand up to my hair and pulled my face over to his, licking my cheek.

"Mmm, I could fucking destroy you" he said in my ear slowly

I laughed a little, finally turning to look at him. He had blue eyes that haunted me; the same eyes that struck fear in all of the other women in town, half of the men too; they knew he would kill them and not think to feel badly about it.

"Aww, Mac, you think you could destroy me? You think you are the man to teach me how a man really fucks?"

His eyes were wandering down my body now; I knew he spent more time imagining my tits in his mouth than actually speaking to me. He licked his dry lips and brought his eyes back up to meet hers.

"Why don't we head on to the back and I will show you" he was holding on to my arm now, anxiously pulling me off my stool.

"MAC!" Walter had noticed his son's actions; he was rather protective of me, despite what a dodgy old fuck he really was. Over the past month, I had learned a lot about Walter and his family, they were a bunch of inbred crazies, but somehow I accepted it.

Mac released me and brought his hands up by his head to show he was backing off.

"Kate, don't provoke him" Walter said, a sideways smile peeking out from behind his grey moustache.

I raised my eyebrows at him and picked up the beer he had placed in front of me.

"If he wasn't such a cocky, dirty fucker, I would probably let him, quote, destroy me." I said, giving my uncle a grin.

He looked at me, all signs of a smile gone. "No."

I shrugged my shoulders and took another drink. The truth was that I and Mac understood each other; both damaged and beyond repair. Mac was his father's pit bull, responsible for making and dealing the drugs in the town, but also for taking care of people who didn't need to be around anymore. Mac was loyal and obedient, but when he was pushed, he became frightening and dangerous to be near. For some reason, even when he was like that, I was still drawn to him. When I had first arrived and saw Mac, my mind wandered back to when they were 10, playing together in the canyons; of course when he opened his mouth, I knew he had changed, like I had. Neither of us were innocent, or easily taken advantage of, so we had a mutual need to dominate each other; it had become a game.

Walter and I had a long talk about me staying away from Mac on the drive to the canyons, he didn't want me to get involved; even tough Mac was Walter's son, he had only neutral to negative reviews on him. I had agreed, but the first night, seeing Mac again after years, I went immediately to his house and ripped his pants off to give him a blow job. His reference to me knowing his dick wasn't dirty was directly related to that. After he came in my mouth, I swallowed, wiped, stood up and walked out. The next day I ignored him completely, and it took him a week to get me to even acknowledge him again. This is where Mac's interest in me came from; nobody did that kind of shit, especially to him.

After I finished my beer, I stood up and walked behind the counter. "I'm up" I said to Walter.

"I'm going home then"

"Yeah, yeah" I put on my apron as he kissed my cheek and walked in to the crowd. I checked on the few people sitting at the bar, making sure their drinks were full, and then pulled out the small knife that Walter had given me, I had been practicing with it every day, and could now throw it and hit most any bulls eye, and could manipulate it easily in my hands; this was my pastime now.

Mac sauntered up to the bar again, free to continue pestering now that his father had left. He walked behind the bar and brought his hips up to meet mine; pushing me against the wet bar.

"Mac, I don't want to play right now, I have to work"

He grabbed my hair, pulling it back so my throat was easily accessible. He brought his free hand up gently squeeze my windpipe while pushing his body in to mine. I could feel his breath on my ear, jagged and hot.

"You feel what you do to me?" he growled

I could feel his erection poking into my back, honestly, it turned me on, but I would never let him know that.

"No, not really, it must be too small" I loved taunting him, knowing I could get away with it.

He pushed his erection in to me harder, moaning while he did it. I had not moved my hands from the bar since he had come up behind me, but now I was reaching around to feel what he was pressing against me, rubbing it.

The people around them were oblivious, too tied up in their own liquor.

He moaned louder in my ear and puller my hair harder. My other hand snaked up behind his head, grabbing on to his hair and pulling his face closer to me.

"Mmm, Mac, I want you to touch me everywhere" I whispered.

In a swift move, he let go of me and turned me around to face him, he towered over me, making me feel small. He pressed his erection into my belly and brought one hand back my hair, while the other grabbed my ass. He brought his mouth down on mine, hard and urgent. He parted my lips with his tongue, seeking my own. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, so much broader than average; I pulled his face to mine with equal vigor, our tongues fighting for control. I was enjoying this because I knew he couldn't control himself like I could. He let go of my hair and grabbed the rest of my ass with his other hand, pulling me up to wrap my legs around his hips. I rocked my hips against him, feeling myself get wetter; his erection hard on my ass.

_Fuck, stay in control, Kate_

I pulled his face down to my shoulders, gasping for air, and letting him kiss me wherever he could reach. He placed me up on the bar counter and began slithering his hands up my shirt, grasping my bra-less boobs roughly, we were both breathing quickly, enjoying each other, both knowing it couldn't go any further. He pulled my hips as close to him as he could, and I wrapped my legs around him as tightly in response. His lips were on my breasts, sucking my nipples, and licking frantically.

"You know…This seems like it is pretty unsanitary" It was Devon, Mac's younger half-brother.

I pulled Mac back, thankful for the interruption; it would have been hard for me to do it myself. I pulled my shirt back down and hopped off the bar and turned to meet Devon's eyes.

"Can I get a beer?" he asked- false kindness in his words.

"Well, I don't know, can ya?" I said back. He looked at me, he hadn't figured out what to do with me yet. I didn't like him; he was the sickest fuck of them all, and I let him know it.

He smirked and walked behind the counter eyeing Mac. "You think Walter would like this little display of affection?"

"Well, we aren't related, so it is actually okay for us to fuck around, unlike, you know, you and your _sister._" I accentuated the word.

He tore the top off of his beer and took a long drink, his eyes never leaving mine. When he finished, he smacked his lips and dropped the bottle on the floor, letting it shatter.

"Ohh you are a right prick" I spat.

He smirked again and then left. Typically and I had got on pretty well, it was only in the last 2 weeks that I had found out that he had basically kidnapped his own sister (well, half-sister really) and kept her tied up and drugged so he could 'love' her. This didn't sit well with Me, I had my own issues and couldn't judge, but that was fucking gross. We had gotten in a yelling match after I found out, and since then things had been sticky between us. I was rather revolted with Walter too to be honest.

Mac had stepped back to watch the events unfold; enjoying my complete lack of filter-He poured a few shots of whiskey while he waited to resume his fondling. Now that Devon had left the bar area and was dancing around with Terra, the only town whore I actually liked, Mac grabbed my hips again and began grinding them. I turned to face him and glared.

"Knock it off" I pulled him off me and walked over to check on my customers.

Mac didn't take rejection well- he knew I was a fighter, which turned him on- but it was part of the game so he let me be. Instead, he went out to the dance floor and found a Mandy, another whore who was dancing with Harley, the oh so respectable deputy, and roughly pulled her to him, grabbing her all over, knowing it would bother Me.

I rolled my eyes at him and continued working, pretending he wasn't there; this lasted for hours.

Finally my cell phone alarm went off signaling last call.

"LAST CALL!" I shouted over the noise. Several people clambered up to get their final drinks, Mac included. He leaned far over the bar and grabbed what he wanted, like he always did, eyeing me, daring me to say something; I didn't.

Finally the crowd thinned, and as the doors slammed, bringing in fresh air from outside, so did the cloud of smoke. My head spun after each shift, the smoke was rather suffocating. When the last couple stumbled out of the open door I walked over and shut it, locking it behind me.

I looked around the bar, it was actually in pretty good shape, considering. I gathered up the empty bottles and glasses bringing them over to wash or toss. After I had filled the dishwasher and wiped down the bar, tables and seats, I walked back behind the bar to gather my bag and leave. When I bent down to search for my bag, I noted glass I had missed from the bottle Devon had broken.

"Fuck" I sighed. I grabbed the rag and picked up the glass and wiped down the beer splash. When I stood up, I screamed; Mac was standing on the other side of the bar, getting a nice good look at my ass bent over.

"Ohhh, ya, I like it when you scream" he cooed.

"What the fuck, Mac, I closed up, how did you get in here?" I was not disappointed, but pretended to be.

"I was in the bathroom…waitin'"

"Ahh"

I tossed the glass into the garbage and knotted the bag, ready to take it out with me. I threw the beer soaked rag at Mac and picked up my bag and the garbage and walked past him to the door, pulling out my keys.

He was behind me within seconds, grabbing the garbage from my hands

"It's almost like you are a gentleman"

He snorted "Your just gunna need both hands for what we're going to do"

"Toss the garbage" I said, ignoring his comment and locking the door back up.

I turned and found him standing too close to me, the porch light igniting his eyes that were wandering my body; the garbage lay forgotten at his feet. I sighed and pushed past him, grabbing the garbage and walked it over to the dumpster. He followed me closely, waiting for me to do something. When he first did this, I was slightly nervous, but I quickly learned that he was truly like a dog, he wanted attention, but it went to his head if you gave it to him. I kept walking to my car, waving over my shoulder at him as I went.

"You shouldn't be out here alone, someone might fuck that pretty little face of yours" he called to me

"G'night Mac" I called sweetly.

I glanced at him in my rearview mirror as I backed up, the white lights highlighting his face. I knew he would follow me home; I lived just past his house on the outside of the small town. About a half a mile down the road, I saw the lights of his tall truck enter my mirror; I smiled, turned on the radio and sang along the rest of the way home.


	3. Chapter 3

**CH 3: The Cave/Rain**

I slept soundly that night, my dreams filled with Mac's mouth and a few of my body parts. When I woke, I poured a cup of day-old coffee, made some eggs and cleaned up my little place. I had the day off so I would be out in the canyons taking pictures, the same as every other day off. It was 10am and already way too fucking hot, so I dressed in running shorts and a thin tank top; I pulled on a hat and threaded my long blond hair through the back. I headed to the bathroom to grab my sunscreen, knowing I would probably burn anyway. I tanned easily, but typically after I burned. I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my blue eyes bright, my jaw strong, my full lips stretching in to a slight smile; I had no real qualms with my appearance. I filled up three water bottles and grabbed my camera and stuffed everything into my backpack, grabbed my keys and headed out to my car. The drive was my favorite part; it took me 30 minutes to get out where I liked to be. When I parked, I noted Mac's truck off in the distance, I knew his lab was out here somewhere, I had never seen it, nor did I care to. I walked off in the opposite direction of his truck, sure that I wouldn't run in to him, and began my hike.

The canyons could be dangerous, so you had to keep focused; not letting your mind wander too much, that was how people disappeared here. I stopped every little while and snapped pictures of the red walls, making notes in my mind as to the physical locations. I had wondered around for nearly three hours before I found a spot to rest, pulling out water and the granola I always kept stashed in my pack. As I tilted my head back, letting the water flow down my throat I noticed the dark grey clouds looming a few miles behind me. I sighed, the canyons were deathly slippery in the rain, I had to get back before they opened up on me. I grabbed a handful of granola, shoved it in my mouth and stood up to head back. As I walked back in the direction of my truck, the thunder started booming above me. There weren't storms here often, but when they happened, they meant business. I had left the dangerous part of the canyons, so I actually welcomed the rain, it would cool me off at least. Moments later, the clouds opened and released cool, hard raindrops on my head. I stopped, tilting my head up toward the sky, letting the rain drench me.

"You gunna let me in on that little wet fantasy babe"

"No fantasy, Mac, it is just rain" I replied, not moving my head.

"I have a fantasy or two, let's get you out of those clothes"

I finally dropped my head, looking to him, his eyes grabbing mine instantly. The rain was dripping off of his hair and down his face, dirt mixing with water to make little mud trails down his face.

"My, my, aren't you a sight, lover" I said sarcastically.

He bit his lip; he loved it when I talked to him like this.

I smiled at his response and started walking again, passing him closely so I could smell the grime on him. He leaned in as I passed, smelling me in return.

We walked in silence for another while before the canyons started making little rivers at our feet. The rain had gotten harder and it was getting challenging to see, much less walk any more. I knew there was a small cave not too far up ahead, but had never gone in; knowing Mac cooked in a cave and not wanting to accidently find it, I made it habit to stay away from any cave around here. I wanted out of the rain for a minute though, so I headed off toward it. Once we reached it, I turned to him, looking in to his eyes, searching for some sign that this was his cave, he gave me nothing. I nodded and headed up to the cave opening; noting the darkness, I stepped into the mouth and removed my pack and setting it on the ground. I looked at Mac who was standing drenched, next to me. I pulled off my hat letting my hair drape down; I knew he was watching me so I made a show of fluffing it and pushing it back.

"You should take the rest off too." He said simply.

"After you"

He looked at me for a second, challenging me, then he started unbuttoning his grimy coveralls that he wore all the time; shimmying his broad shoulders out of them and letting them drop around his waist. His chest had scars, small burns, all over it, but he that didn't distract from how strong he was. I stared a little longer than I meant to and he caught me.

"You like?" he asked, teasing

"Eh" I shrugged.

"Your turn"

"You aren't naked, I'm not getting naked"

He studied me for a moment longer, bent down to undo his shoes. He kicked them off to the side by my pack, and then peeled the rest of his clothes off; he stood only in his boxers. He looked up at me and caught me staring again.

"Next" he said with a grin. I hated that grin, it was the devil's grin, and it turned me on.

I raised my eyebrows and licked my lips.

"Fine"

I pulled my tank top up over my head, then undid my shoes, kicked them off, and then pulled my shorts off. I stood in front of him in a sports bra and boy cut shorts. His eyes traveled over my body slowly, taking it in.

"I'm going to have to charge you room and board if you keep that up" I said turning to look outside the cave where the rain was still coming down hard as ever. It was so peaceful; I wished it rained more often. A particularly loud clap of thunder boomed above them and I jumped in surprise. I immediately regretted it because that was a sign, however small, of weakness and Mac ate it up. I felt him behind me, so close I could feel his body heat. I leaned my head back, making contact with his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, one moving up to my neck, the other down to my underwear.

"Wet for me huh?" he said feeling me.

"Well, Mac, it couldn't have anything to do with the rain soaking me now could it?" It had nothing to do with the rain.

He pressed in to me, pulling my body toward him. I could feel his erection pressing into me now, and I couldn't help but grind in to it. He cupped me, rubbing my clit with his thumb. I let out a small moan, knowing that it was a mistake.

He moved his hands to my hips, stepping back a little, and stuck his thumbs into the lining of my underwear, pulling them down. When they got to my knees, he stepped on them to bring them the rest of the way down to my feet. I looked at the crumpled red fabric on the floor of the cave, wondering where this was going. I didn't move an inch, but I could feel his eyes glazing over me again. He stuck his fingers in the lining of the sports bra and pulled it roughly off my head, it joined the rest of our clothes. Now I was completely naked, while he stood behind me with boxers on.

"That just isn't fair, Mac" I cooed

He traced his finger up my spine slowly, causing my skin to erupt. I bit my lip, not wanting him to know what he was doing to me. His hands left my body suddenly, and a moment later he brought his boxers around on his finger to show me.

"I would have pegged you more as a rubber ducky guy" I said, noting the plain black and grey pattern.

He tossed them aside and placed his hands back on my hips. He brought his mouth to my ear, tugging on it lightly, while his hands explored my flesh.

I remained still, letting him get his feel; I would make my move soon. This was a game after all, and he was not going to win. When he found my wet sex again, he massaged it, licking my ear as he did it. I laid my head back on his chest while he explored, not giving him the satisfaction of me touching him. Another loud clap of lightning echoed overhead lighting up the cave brightly for a split second; this was when I made my move, before he even knew what hit him. I spun around; my hands wrapped around his and my right leg caught him behind his left knee making him fall He gasped and looked up at me while I pushed him to the cave floor and straddled him. His mouth hung open as I brought his hands to my boobs; he kneaded them automatically. I reached around behind me, grabbing his dick and squeezing it, watching his eyes get bigger. He had lost control for a second, but he would get it back. I released his erect cock and leaned down, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue; his eyes closed and he brought his hands down my ribs. I thrust my tongue into his mouth, sucking on him, and kissing him as hard as I could, letting him know it was my turn to be in charge; this wouldn't last though, his leg was already twisting through mine, getting ready to flip me over so he would be on top. I knew what was happening, I was also going to let it, because I wanted to feel him pressed against me- I wanted his weight. He grabbed my hips and flipped me on to my back, my legs flailing ungracefully as I was so abruptly turned. He pressed himself on to me, his legs in between mine, keeping them open. I could feel him, so close to my entrance, so close to doing what we both knew Walter would disapprove of. His mouth claimed my neck, shoulders, collarbones, and finally my left breast, he sucked on it hard, making the nipple stand at attention. I moaned again, this time he lifted his head and smiled.

"Oh ya? Now I know it ain't the rain that made that pussy wet" he had me, finally, I wouldn't be able to get back in control anymore. He brought his mouth back to my nipple for a moment, and then licked his way back up to my ear.

"Time for me to claim you, you little whore"

"St…still not a whore….Mac" I managed between gasps.

"You're my whore, Kate" he growled low in my ear.

He reached down and guided himself into me, hard, fast. I let out a squeak, not having anyone there in a while, and he was not small.

"Oh god" I cried as he thrust into me, my back scraping along the pebbles on the cave floor.

"Say it!" he growled at me "fucking say it" he lifted his head up to look in my eyes; those eyes that demanded and took.

"I…I AM YOUR….WHORE" I gasped. "OH FUCK, MAC!" my cries were echoing off the walls now, the storm doing nothing to mute them. He was grunting above me as I clutched his back, my nails digging in to him.

"THAT'S RIGHT" His grunts were getting quicker, I knew he was close, all this pent up sexual frustration and teasing over the past month was not going to let him last too much longer. I kept my eyes glued to his and I began to feel the pull in my stomach, my toes curling and my body shaking.

"Oh GOD, MAC, OH my GOD!" My head tilted back and I looked in to the darkness of the cave, reveling in his body claiming mine. I gripped him tighter as my body exploded around him. I tried to catch my breath as my hands dropped from his back, I was so weak- I had never had an orgasm that hard. He slowed a little and I brought my head down to look at him again, knowing he wasn't done. He leaned back off of me, bringing me with him; he was now sitting on the ground with me impaled on his lap.

"Now you fuck me" he snapped in my ear. I regained some of my strength at his demand and positioned myself over him so I could work him off right. He leaned back on his arms while I bounced on him

"Yeah, ride it like a fucking carnival" he groaned

I swiveled my hips, changing it up a bit, allowing him to go deeper into me.

"Unhhhf" slipped out from between his lips; I was back in control. How mean would it be to stand up and walk out into the rain, leaving him hard and ready. Almost as if he heard my thoughts, he leaned back toward me and grabbed my body tightly, bringing his mouth my collar bone, my favorite place. I rocked him hard, putting everything in to squeezing everything he had out of his cock. His eyes were closed again and he was nibbling on my skin. I grabbed his hair hard, digging my fingers in to him, claiming him as mine- like he had done to me. I felt the tingle again, I threw my head back just as my second orgasm hit me.

"Oh fuck, you are so tight!" He cried into me. I made sure that I kept my muscled tightened around him, I could feel him shaking- he was so close.

He grabbed my hair firmly as I rocked on his hardness, I could feel it quiver, getting ready to explode into me. I leaned back, resting on his legs behind me, giving him a new angle.

"FUCK, OH FUCK" He came hard, I could feel him empty in to me, his semen hot and sticky, filling me up.

I gyrated a little bit more, my muscles still tight around him, making sure he had no more to give. Once I was sure he was empty, I leaned forward and kissed his lips hard, then stood up and gathered my clothes.

He laid on the ground watching me dress; his eyes following my movements. When I was finished, I gave him one last look then wandered back out in the rain, leaving him to fend for himself. I reached my car without seeing him again; I stuffed my pack into the back seat, moved to the driver's door and got in, slamming the door. When I arrived home, I took a long hot shower, clutching myself frequently- I could still feel him inside of me.

_Tomorrow is going to be interesting_ I thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**CH 4: Repercussions**

I woke up sore, I had not had anything in a while- much less the roughness I'd experiences yesterday with Mac. I rolled over to check the time, my alarm had not gone off yet; I had about 4 minutes until it would. Sighing I decided to get up and take another shower, I could still smell Mac on me and I didn't want Walter to smell him, he wouldn't be happy about our activities.

After my shower I dressed in my typical outfit- jean shorts and a tank top- and headed out to the bar to help Walter get things set up for the day. When I arrived, there was a fancy caravan parked out front, a young boy was running around with a dog, his older sister was perched on the back bumper playing on her phone. I nodded at the boy as I got out of my car.

_God this fucking heat is infuriating!_

It was just after 11am and the red hills were already bouncing the heat around like a furnace. I walked in to the Luna Mesa and found the boy and girls' parents sitting at a table, ordering breakfast from Walter.

"Mornin'" I said simply, not really noticing them.

"I'm all set here, will you head over and check on Devon and Reggie, they probably need breakfast"

I tilted my head and glared at him, he knew I hated the whole situation, but he insisted on us still conversing in some way or another.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that" I said sarcastically

The couple looked at me, curiosity etched in their faces. Now that I really got a good look at them, they looked like people who got very lost and shouldn't be here at all- dressed in designer clothes and primped up to the hilt.

"You should bring those kids in, it is too hot out there" I said, trying to find an excuse to get their kids out of the open without setting off any bells. Walter looked at me, warning in his eyes. He knew full well Mac would like to get ahold of their pretty daughter- the boy and the parents would be dead by the end of the day, but the girl would be tied up to be played with for several days. This should have bothered me more than it did, the raping and murdering of innocent people, but I felt rather numb to it, I had no real feelings toward death anymore, and rape, well…that is just what happened around here.

I put my bag underneath the bar and put on my name tag, not that anyone needed it to know me, and headed out the door to go over to the small motel that Walter owned and lived in. As I approached number 6, Devon and Reggie's place, I started to feel sick- this was one of the only things that really upset me here. I knocked on the door and waited.

The door swung open and I was surprised to find Reggie on the other side, smiling.

"Heya K..K…Kate" She had a nervous type stutter that was actually rather endearing.

"Reg- where is your…Devon" I asked, not knowing how to refer to him.

"Shower, want to come in and play a game?" She was like a child

"No. You hungry?"

"Dev already fed us."

"Good. You coming out later?" I knew the answer

"Oh…well Dev said if I am better later, we might come out to go dancin'" She sounded like an excited kid who was promised candy.

"Sounds nice" I felt horrible for her, knowing it wouldn't happen. "I'll see you later then".

I turned my back and headed off back to the bar. Mac's truck pulled up as I opened the door, I knew it by sound so I didn't even look at him. The door slammed and his boots stomped across the wood planks to follow me inside. I hurried behind the bar to the stock room, eager to get away from the awkward feeling I had. I stayed in the small room, looking around at the various liquors, listening to Mac and his father on the other side of the wall.

"You don't touch them; they got folks who'll look for em"

"That girl's got a mighty fine little ass though, I could give her a real good time"

I grimaced, I hated hearing him talk like that- I wasn't stupid, I knew his past, what he was capable of, but it still churned my stomach.

"Ya don't touch em, Mac"

She heard something break, and then heard the door slam. She decided it was safe to walk out from the room now, feeling claustrophobic from the stuffy heat. Walter looked up at me as I rounded the doorway. He raised his head from the glass he was holding, offering it to me.

"Bit early for me, old man" I said.

"Ya heard us?"

"Ya- will he listen?"

"He doesn't know how not to"

I nodded, remembering yesterday's escapades once again.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing, told ya I am good here"

I looked at him, waiting for a hint of what he was really thinking.

"ok?" I said tepidly

"Go on and do whatever ya want, I won't need you till tonight"

"Alright then" I walked out of the bar-noting the caravan was gone and so was Mac's truck. I had nothing to do, and didn't have my camera, so I decided to head home, maybe nap or read a bit. The dirt road back home was littered with more ruts from the storm water, making the ride even less pleasurable than before. I passed Mac's house and saw that his truck was not there either, hopefully he was out cooking in the canyons, and not terrorizing rich fucks from wherever. As I rounded the final corner to my own slice of heaven, I saw the bed of his large red truck parked just to the left of where I usually parked. I pulled in to my space and looked over at the truck- empty. I got out and walked up to the door, which was open slightly.

"Mac?" I called

"You ain't got no beer"

"No, I finished what I had last night"

I heard the fridge door slam and he walked out from the kitchen a moment later, dressed in his usual attire. He leaned against the archway separating the living room and kitchen, crossed his arms and stared at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Mac?" I asked, not looking at him while I set down my bag and stuck my keys into my pocket for ease of access.

"Missed ya"

"Right. What do you want?"

"I want another go at that pussy"

"Not going to happen"

"Could have had that little girls lost pussy…" he trailed off

"Oh ya? She looked like she was really in to redneck meth heads to you?"

He stood up straight and walked over to me, getting in my face, making me look at him finally.

"Whad'ju call me?" He spat in my face

"Seriously, Mac, you need to leave, I'm going to nap"

"No you fucking ain't"

I stared at him intently

_God those fucking eyes_

"We aren't going to fuck again, it just isn't going to happen" I said walking toward my bedroom. Honestly I had figured he would ignore me, having gotten what he'd wanted from me. I had the feeling that things would change between us from the moment we walked in to the cave, but it didn't stop me. Seems I was wrong, he was even more eager to get me.

He followed me into my room and slammed the door behind us making me jump a little. I was rather shaken from yesterday with him, today with Reggie, and then the conversation about the family between he and Walter- I wasn't in the mood for anything but sleep. I turned and found him leering at me from in front of the door. I sighed; he was going to make this whole thing a huge mistake instead of a casual fuck.

"You having trouble with the word 'leave', Mac?" I asked, slipping off my shoes and shoving them in the corner.

He stalked over and grabbed me roughly, bringing my face to his is a swift move. His mouth was fast, vicious, claiming my tongue.

I pushed him back as hard as I could, making me fall backward on to my bed. He hit the wall and threw me a look that I knew I should fear. He started unbuttoning his coveralls and peeling them off his shoulders.

"I said it isn't going to happen, Mac" I stood back up and moved around to the other side of the bed, a little nervous, but not afraid. He launched himself at me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me over the bed so I was lying face down. He grabbed the knife from Walter that I kept in my back pocket, and cut my tank top off my shoulder then threw the knife to the floor. He ripped the shirt the rest of the way off of me then turned me over to unbutton my shorts. I slapped him hard in the face, making him laugh, he liked it rough- this was going to be fun for him. He rounded on me again and grabbed my wrists and held them easily in one hand while the other worked on my button and zipper. I was torn between laying there, not giving him what he wanted from me, and fighting to really hurt him. I decided on the latter, so I bucked my hips up and twisted my body out of his grasp, tearing my wrists out of his hands. I stood on the other side of the bed, ready to bolt for the door if I needed to. He moved like a snake, springing out to grab me as I turned and ran for the door- he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back to him, but I managed to get a good kick in, my foot hitting him in the stomach. He grunted and wrestled me underneath him.

"BITCH!" he yelled

"Redneck FUCK!" I spat back

He slapped me, hard; I saw stars. When my eyes focused again, he had pulled his coveralls the rest of the way off, and going for my shorts- this was a bad day to wear nothing underneath them.

He yanked my shorts down my legs roughly, a sneer on his face.

"Goin' commando today, babe? You are ready for me"

I twisted my hips under him again, trying to get control again, but he was using all of his weight to keep me pinned down. He massaged my boobs over my black bra, licking his lips- I could feel him getting hard.

_Damnit, this is not supposed to get me hot_

I looked around for something to hit him with but only found a shoe.

_That'll have to do_

I grabbed up my tennis shoe and swung it as hard as I could against his head, not expecting much damage.

"FUCK!" He yelled

It wasn't much, but it was a distraction, I wiggled out from under him and stood up. He followed suit.

"That was for slapping me"

He smiled and ran at me again, pinning me between him and the wall, holding my wrists above my head and planting his legs between mine, keeping them from being able to do damage.

"Oh babe, keep fighting, you're making me love you."

"I heard you and Walter talking, why don't you go find that girl, she'll give you a fight"

Knowing they were out of harm's way I felt comfortable giving him the suggestion, a distraction was all I needed

"Naw, you'll keep me plenty busy" he brought his face to mine, licking my cheek and smelling my hair

"I'm not going to fight you anymore" I said.

He grabbed both of my wrists in one hand then moved his free hand to my crotch, gripping me tight

"You're wet babe. Now why would you be wet?" He plunged his fingers inside me, moving them around to hit the tender flesh. I bit my tongue, focusing on the pain, not the pleasure between my legs. I wanted to close my eyes, let my body feel him, but he was on a role and letting him know I was succumbing to him wouldn't allow me to win.

He pulled his fingers out of me and brought them up to his mouth, sucking them loudly.

"Mmm, you taste better than candy"

He dropped his hand to his hard cock, pulsating against me, ready. He let go of my wrists and pulled my body up to rest on his hips. I wrapped my legs around him without thinking. He positioned himself and thrust in to me hard, fast, unforgiving. My head flew back and my fingers dug in to his shoulders. I was lost. As he pumped in to me, grunting, his mouth ravaged my collarbone, licking and biting it. I pulled his head in tighter, pleading in my head for more.

"Say it" he grunted to me, looking up

"No"

He slapped my across the face again, not as hard as last time. "Fucking say it" his eyes were burning.

"NO!"I shouted through the pleasure I was feeling.

He pushed in to me harder, reaching new depths and making me moan out loudly.

"You are my fucking whore, you fucking say it" He was rocking in to me so hard I thought I would break.

"Oh god, Mac"

He pulled my head in to his shoulder, burying his own in my hair. He was shaking and moaning, like me, we wouldn't last much longer.

"Your running down my legs, you dirty whore"

His voice set me on fire, I couldn't hold on anymore. My orgasm hit me so hard I whimpered. He was still pounding me, my back hitting the wall over and over.

"You…oh GOD!" he was moving us down the wall on to the floor, not removing himself from my ignited nerves.

Once we were on the floor, he started pounding again, hard and fast like before, but the new angle was euphoric and I was climbing again, my body shaking and moving on its own.

"Fucking SAY it"

"I'm, I'm yours"

"Say it right"

"I'm your whore!" I came again, my body limp and worn. He wasn't done though, so he kept going, holding on to my hair so he could get as deep as possible. I could hear his balls slapping against my ass, it was dirty and wrong but I loved it.

"I'm your whore!" I offered again, not able to control myself anymore.

He grunted a few more times, thrusting in to me, and then I felt him release- hot and fast- in to me.

"That's right, you are mine"

I looked at him while we caught our breath, he held my eyes.

"Yes"

"Nobody else gets to touch you. You got it?"

I nodded. Whatever he wanted to hear was fine with me right now. My head was spinning from the heat and pleasure. He pulled out of me suddenly and stood up, his body toned and strong. I licked my lips, already wanting him back on me.

"Say it"

"Nobody else gets to touch me" He reached down and grabbed me by my sore wrists, pulling me up to stand in front of him. He kissed me hard then picked up his clothes and left, just like I did yesterday.

I had let my guard down let him be in control, I was lost now and I felt the repercussions of my mistake. I had to get things back to an even ground if this was going to last. I had to make the next move, dominate him and make him my bitch.


	5. Chapter 5

**CH 5: Jealous Much?**

I lay in bed, not able to sleep; I had too much rolling around in my head. Mac knew that I was his now, and giving up at least the partial control I had gained made me nervous; I hated feeling weak or dependent on any one. I got up, letting go of the idea of sleep and got in the shower, it seemed I was showering a lot lately. I had to be at the bar in just over an hour and I knew Mac would be there with his buddies later. I stood under the water for several minutes before I began washing, I could not concentrate on anything but his mouth, his dirty, harsh personality- god I wanted more. After I was done, I dressed quickly and pulled my hair up in to a messy bun and left for the bar. I liked getting there before the crowd, that way I could watch everyone coming in, and keep the attention off me. Walter had six customers, most of them regulars, but two were guys, my age, that I'd never seen before. We got stragglers who took the scenic route through the canyons so it wasn't uncommon to see new people now and again, but these boys looked like they belonged in a frat house, not in Cainville. They were definitely jocks, big and broad, and far too confident in their abilities. They both watched me while I walked to the bar to put my stuff down, talking low among themselves.

Walter looked up from the cash register and nodded to me, then eyed the two boys

"Who are they?" I asked Walter

"College kids, from the city"

"Why the fuck are they here"

"Road trip I guess. Get 'em drinks" he said pointedly. He knew I could manipulate men if I wished; this was probably why he liked me so much.

"Sure." I walked over to the boys, swishing my hips more than I needed to, and pulled a pencil from my bun and put it to the pad of paper I had grabbed.

"Heya boys" I said sweetly

"Damn, your ass is-"he clicked his tongue "F I N E" he drew out the word. Clearly he was the mouthy, more obnoxious one

"Right. Drinks?" I said, winking at him

"You servin' up what's between those pretty little legs?" the obnoxious one said- his buddy staying quiet

"Well I might be" I said playing along. I was _this_ close to crushing his windpipe with my shoe.

"You got a bathroom in this shit hole" he asked

"Round the corner"

"Why don't you meet me back there in 3?" he said giggling to himself again and getting up.

I made no comment

"Jake, go piss and shut the fuck up."

_The quiet one speaks._

Jake walked off to the bathroom looking dejected.

"I'm sorry about him, he starts drinking and he forgets his manners"

I stared at him, he was actually pretty cute, he seemed more in control and he had a cute little grin.

"It's ok. I am used to it"

"I bet. Hey, we'll get a couple of shots of whiskey and 2 more Coors."

I nodded, grabbed up the empty bottles on the table and went to put in the order before Jake came back. When I got to the bar I started pouring the shots. The quiet one was up at the bar not too far behind me.

"I'm Alex, Jake is my brother."

"I gathered- you look alike" I popped off the caps of the beers and shoved them over to him.

"Listen, I really am sorry about him, he really is a nice guy."

"I said it was fine. You have a tab open or what?"

"Ya, it's under McAlister"

"Got'cha" I continued fiddling with things, not in the mood to talk to Alex about anything.

"You wanna dance?" he asked abruptly.

I looked up, rather shocked. The bar was pretty low key right now, but as soon as Mac got there, it would be out of hand quickly.

"Uhh" I sputtered, I was rarely caught off guard "I don't think that is a good idea"

"Boyfriend?"

"No, just…I have to work"

Walter was looking at me now, an odd expression on his face. The thought of making Mac jealous flashed through my mind, tempting me- would flip if he saw me dancing with this guy-however it was just a dance, and Mac wasn't here right now, besides the guy was cute.

"Come on, one dance, if you don't like it we can stop and I will leave you alone"

I smiled at him; mulling over my options- Would he really care that much? The things we said to each other seemed more like sex talk than anything else.

"Ok then" I walked around the bar and took his outstretched hand. He guided me to the center of the small bar and took my hip.

Fuck it. You win by Hanni el Khatib came on the jukebox, it was one of my favorites, so I allowed myself to get in to the mood a little bit. Alex was smiling and grinding in to me.

"Where is your brother" I asked, he hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.

"Probly passed out"

"Charmer"

Alex laughed and spun me around catching me in his arms and bringing me closer to him. I caught a glimpse of Walter; he was looking at me intently while absentmindedly washing a cup. Alex was getting more and more confident, passing his hands over my waist and moving to my ass.

"Hands up top buddy"

He moved them quickly. I could feel his erection on my hip, grinding away. He pulled my head in close to his mouth and whispered in my ear.

"You live nearby?"

"Yeah, but-"I was cut off by a hand grabbing my wrist and jerking me out of Alex's arms.

"What the fuck man!" Alex screamed

"Who the fuck are you, putting your hands all over my bitch" Mac was in his face

"Nice, Mac, thanks" I rolled my eyes.

"She said she didn't have a boyfriend man!" Alex was obviously nervous; Mac was intimidating even when he wasn't pissed. "We were just dancing, relax partner"

"Do I look like your fucking partner? I don't fucking know you!" Mac was venomous. I glanced at Walter again, he had an 'I told you look' on his face as he reached for the bat under the counter.

"Mac, relax" I stepped in between Mac and Alex trying to get things to cool down. This would end with Alex and his brother dead if Mac didn't calm down.

"Back off" Mac spat, pushing me off to the side. He grabbed Alex by the shirt and began to push him outside.

"MAC. You leave him alone" Walter was beside me with the bat.

Mac stopped and looked at his father, daring him. They stared at each other for several moments, talking without words.

"No body" Walter said finally, lowering the bat and turning back to the bar.

Mac would kill him and hide the body, I knew he would. I watched him drag Alex outside, feeling bad about wanting to make Mac jealous- I honestly didn't think it would be this bad. I ran to the bathroom and calling for Jake. He was huddled on the floor looking pale.

"You and your brother need to go or you will both die here"

Jake looked up at me, a look of defiance rolling over him.

"I'm not fucking kidding, he is out front with a guy who will kill him if you don't get out of here" I bent down and pulled Jake up to his feet. I grabbed his hand and yanked him out the bathroom door to the bar floor and dragged him to the front screen door that led to his brother outside.

"I'm sorry" Alex was gasping as Mac punched him

"MAC!" I yelled. He stopped and looked at me

"ALEX!" Jake ran to his brother while I followed over to Mac.

"Leave him alone, they are leaving" I said as calmly as I could

Jake lifted his brother up and started walking over to their car. Mac's look was actually frightening, but if I didn't say or do something, there would be missing people posters around. I looked at the boys who were stumbling into their car- Mac never took his eyes off me. Once the boys had sped off, I looked back at Mac.

"Go inside" he said to his friends. They walked in without a word. Mac and I stood staring at each other, not talking. I knew I had fucked up, I had fucked up a lot lately, but I figured I knew how to fix it all.

"Mac. We were just dancing. No big deal." I walked over to him and traced my finger down his revealed chest. He didn't move, he didn't appear to be breathing either.

I looked up in to his eyes, those perfect blue eyes that let you know exactly what he was thinking. He still wasn't letting me in, so I decided to go a little more extreme. I dragged my hand down the front of his filthy jeans and found his dick. He twitched a little, finally.

"Let me make it up to you" I said sweetly. He still didn't move.

I started pushing him backward toward the bed of his truck, knowing he would understand what I was doing. The tailgate was never up, so it hit the back of his legs forcing him to sit. I unbuttoned his jeans, not removing my eyes from his.

"I see it's you going commando this time" I said teasing.

I jerked his jeans down his hips and he let me pull them off his butt, lifting himself a little. I slid them to the ground and grazed my fingers over his exposed thighs. His cock twitched again, letting me know I was pacifying him.

"Now you can't be that mad can ya?" I asked

He didn't say anything; he just looked at me. I grabbed his cock, now rock hard, in my hands and began stroking him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and then reopened.

I pushed him further back in to the bed of the truck and climbed up after him. He brought his arms up behind his head to make a pillow for his head while I worked on his cock. He kept his eyes on me, still laced with fury.

I smiled at him before I took him in my mouth. I couldn't quite fit him all in, so I used my hands to cover the rest. As I pumped him up and down, I felt him relax and he began to moan. I took him out of my mouth so I could lick him and tease his head. He was jerking under me as I worked on him. I made sure to suck him loudly so that he could hear how much I enjoyed him in my mouth. He brought one of his hands to the back of my head, grabbing my hair and pushing my face closer to him. He was moaning louder, lost in what I was doing. I forced my head up, releasing him from my mouth and he looked at me- I stuck my tongue out as he watched me go back down to lick the tip in circles.

"Fuck" Finally I had gotten him to say something.

He was so hard I was sure he would break if I bent him too far, but he wiggled under me, twisting himself around in my mouth. I took him in as far as I could again and sucked as hard as I could.

"Arguh" He said thrusting his hips up to meet me. He came in my mouth, hot jets of cum spurted against the back of my throat which I swallowed down eagerly. Once he was empty I sat up and scooted off the truck bed on to the ground. He sat up and took his jeans I was handing him. He pulled himself to the edge of the bed and slipped them on, then jumping down he slid them over his ass up to his hips and buttoned them.

"What did I tell you yesterday" He asked me slowly

"That I was yours, and no one else could touch me"

He nodded. "So why the fuck were his hands all over you?" He was speaking low and deliberate.

"Just for some fun"

"You fuck me for fun, Kate"

"You weren't here"

He raised his hand but because I didn't flinch he let it stand in the air.

"I'll hit you with a shoe again" I said

He actually smiled.

"I have to get in there, I'm on"

Mac followed me closely back inside where his friends watched us. He smacked my ass, rather hard, and then broke off to meet his group. I wandered back over to the bar, relieved Walter for the night, and started getting the drinks the boys would be wanting.

They were loud already, so I could tell that the alcohol would make this night one big firework. Those boys had gotten away, barely, and Mac was smiling again, so all was good now.

Throughout the night I made sure to go to Mac and let him know I was interested in something after work, he would stick his hand up my shirt and let me know it was on; his friends looking lustfully at me but knowing full well they would be dead if they ever thought about touching.

Back at the bar, Terra came up to chat.

"So….." She wiggled her eyebrows at me

"What?"

"You and Mac?"

"Me and Mac what?"

"You guys are fucking" It wasn't a question.

"How do you know?"

"Everyone knows. He hasn't been to the house lately either" she said looking pointedly at me

"Really?" Most of the whores lived together in a little place, somewhere easy to get to after a night at the bar.

"Uh huuuuu" She wiggled her eyebrows again

"Stop"

"You haven't been out to see us either"

"I've been working on my pictures, and Walter has me working more since he has been feeling his gunshot"

"Codger deserves to feel it" She hated Walter, no one really knew why- She was the one who shot him, right in the ass, and again no one knew why. "You like him?"

"…I don't know" I really didn't know what we were doing.

She took a drink of her beer and winked. "Gotta work"

She wandered over to one of the locals massaging his shoulders and nibbling on his ear.

I looked over to Mac and his group and found him staring at me, licking his lips and playing with the smoke in his mouth. I wiped down the bar for the umpteenth time, watching him while I did it.

Walter walked back in the Bar at almost midnight, looking angry, he quickly found Mac, had a few words with him, and then they both left without talking to anyone else. I was curious, but I didn't bother asking anyone what happened. The bar cleared out fairly soon after midnight, the rowdy ones heading off to have fun in the canyons- and it being a Sunday night the rest of the night was uneventful, it consisted mainly of me talking with Terra and fetching people drinks. When my alarm went off and I called "LAST CALL" I was so relieved, I hated slow nights. I locked up and decided not to wait around for Mac; he'd probably show up at my place later anyway. On the drive home I decided that I had to fuck with him a little bit though, just for being just a baby earlier. I passed his house, dark and empty and came to my own; I decided I would park my car behind the bushes so it looked like I was out too. After cleaning up a bit, changing my shirt to the smoke off, I began trekking down to Mac's house to wait for him. I waited at the window in his kitchen for a good half an hour before his truck pulled in, parked, waited, then backed out again and headed toward my place. I could just picture him getting all bent out of shape because I wasn't waiting for him there. 15 minutes later he sped back in to his driveway, got out, and slammed the truck door behind him. I decided to hide in his closet, just to make the game last a bit longer. He stomped in and threw his jacket on the couch, huffed around a bit and then walked in to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Once I heard the water come on I slowly moved out of the closet and headed toward the door. I cracked the door and saw that he was in, his clothed in a pile on the floor. I slipped in and closed the door behind me, wanting to take him by surprise.

"Fucking BITCH!" he said suddenly

I waited, seeing if he would call me anything else. He didn't, the only sound was the water dropping off his body to the floor. I stripped out of my own clothes and set them on the sink, they were still clean after all. When I was naked, I walked over and pulled the curtain open- I caught him off guard for sure- he turned, and slammed himself against the wall, barely catching himself.

"WHAT THE FUCK, KATE!"

"Surprise" I lulled.

His chest was heaving, and he was glaring at me.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He spat

"I could ask you the same thing"

I stepped in to the shower, running my hands over his chest. He looked down at me, obviously irritated, but turned on already too.

I grabbed a handful of his wet hair and pulled his face down to mine, taking control of his mouth. I bit his lip and ran my tongue over it tasting blood. He was grinding his erection in to my stomach, grasping my ass, and kissing me back. I pulled back from him, looking into his eyes.

"Wash my back" I told him turning around. It was a demand- he didn't take demands from anyone but Walter, yet he grabbed a sponge and ran it over my back.

"Heard you haven't been down at the whore house lately, not losing your mojo are you big boy?"

"All my mojo is being wasted on you" he said into my ear

I reached behind me and grabbed his hair again, pulling it roughly. He was pressing himself into my back, he was so hard.

"You only got enough for one girl these days?"

"The way we fuck, yeah"

I smiled, maybe I had more control in this than I thought; on top of that he was jealous of other guys touching me, he had to know where I was...

_Fuck, is this some kind of fucked up relationship?_

"Where'd you go with Walter tonight?" I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. I didn't actually expect him to answer.

He didn't say anything at first, just continued washing my back and running his lips over my neck, but after a minute or so he cleared his throat.

"Had to get some product for Walter to push; someone called him late and wanted their shit."

I hated that he did the whole drug thing, it wasn't my cup of tea, but I knew he wouldn't change so I just decided that it would be the one thing I didn't care for about him and let it go.

"Working so late baby, you must be so tired" I turned around and looked up at him; his eyes calm and crystal clear.

I turned him around by his arm and took the sponge to wash him a bit. The man was just about the grimiest person I'd ever come across. He was greasy, dingy and most of the time smelled of liquor and chemicals from the canyon- it was fucking hot. As I washed away the dirt though, I could see how tanned he was, and how toned his back was. I pressed my lips against his back in several spots, on the most obvious muscles that moved beneath his skin. He was really a beautiful sight.

In a swift movement, I was up against the wall, him holding me up and he was thrusting into me; my fingers digging in to his shoulders. The water was hot and the steam filled the bathroom making the whole thing seem like a dream. He rested his head in the crook of my neck while he moved in me; much slower than he had before. I held his head close to me, feeling so comfortable with him at the moment. My stomach started to knot letting me know I was close. I let him know in his ear

"I'm so close, Mac. Don't stop"

He stayed at the same pace; hitting spots I never knew existed. I started to see little droplets of blood come up to his shoulders just before I came- it hit me like a tsunami.

"Ohh my god. Fuck"

My muscles around him set him off right after me, so we came down together. He pulled away from me, not letting me down, and looked into my eyes.

He had an odd look in his eyes, something I'd never seen before.

"What is it?" I asked, not sure if I should be concerned.

He lowered me down and turned off the shower. When he opened the curtain, the steam swirled around. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, rubbing my shoulders lightly. This was so unlike him I furrowed my brow.

He draped a towel around his hips and stepped out, offering me his hand.

"Bed" he said

He walked me to his bedroom and removed my towel and his, letting them drop to the floor. He walked over to the bed and pulled the covers down and slid in, then waved me over.

"Are we having a sleep over, Lover?"

"Yep"

He pulled me on to his chest so I could hear his heartbeat. I was asleep in seconds.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter has some back story to it, but hopefully it isn't too slow...**

**CH 6: The train in the sky**

My eyes opened slowly, sleep still clinging to them; it was still dark in the room and there was no sign of light from beyond the curtains. I rolled over to feel where Mac might be, but the bed was empty and cold.

_Wait, I did sleep at his house right? _

I sat up slowly, looking around in the darkness- this was definitely his room. I swung me legs out from the covers and stood up to go find where he could be. I cracked the door open quietly. I heard him talking in a low voice from the kitchen, he sounded like he was trying extra hard to keep his voice calm.

"How did it fucking happen?"

"I know _HOW_ it happens; I want to know how she _LET _it happen"

"This is going to fuck things up for me, Shane; which means it isn't going to be good for any of you"

I hated hearing only one part of the conversation, especially since something in his voice made me nervous.

"Well, I will give you one day to fix it or I will slit your fucking throat, do you hear me?"

"You tell those whores to keep their mouth shut about it or I will kill them too- and she doesn't find out, you got me?"

He sighed and hung up the phone. I stood there, not able to move. Something was definitely off, but I wasn't sure if I could just go up and ask him. I waited a moment longer then rounded the corner. He looked up at me from the floor.

"Hey, you weren't in bed. Why are you on the floor?" I decided to pretend I didn't hear the partial conversation.

"Shane called" He was clearly not in a chatty mood.

"Everything alright?"

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me

"Nothing you need to fucking worry about" he said sharply

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Uh hu. I am just a bitch you fuck- no need to talk to me"

He stood up, he was wearing only boxers, and although it was dark in the house I could still see the outline of his body. He still hadn't said anything, so I crossed my arms, covering my naked boobs and waited. We stood there for several minutes without moving or speaking, his body was sending off waves of hostility but I made sure that he knew I wasn't going to deal with his shit. He had always had a knack for shutting people out when he was flustered, angry or worried, clearly I was no exception.

"Mac-" I started

He walked passed me heading to the bedroom. I stood there alone for a minute before deciding that I wasn't going to stay in an environment that was making my stomach churn.

I walked in to the bedroom where he was saying on the bed with his hands resting on his stomach. I fumbled around for my clothes for a second before remembering they were still on the bathroom sink. I walked out of the room with him still not saying anything. I flipped on the bathroom light, which was a mistake because I was blind while my eyes adjusted to the harshness. I grabbed my clothes and shoved them on my body, flipped the light back off and headed for the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Home" I said turning to find his voice. He was standing up against the door frame to the bedroom, his arms crossed.

"why?"

"Because I am not going to deal with a petulant child, Mac" I walked out and slammed the door behind me, my temper back to 100% for how he was acting. I had realized that this was less about the game we were playing anymore, and more about me actually liking the guy, wanting to be with him. It was next to impossible to figure out if he felt even remotely the same- he was a shut book.

I heard the door slam behind me so I picked up my pace, my realization had brought tears of anger and shame to my eyes- this was not how it should be. You don't fall for the bad guy.

I heard him running after me, his feet pounding over the dirt road. He grabbed my elbow and spun me around roughly- his breath fast and labored.

"Let me go, Mac!" I yelled ripping my arm out of his grasp. He was on me again in a second, his hand grabbing my arm hard enough that I knew I would bruise. He spun me around and glared down at me, the street light in front of his house lighting his face a little.

"You don't just fucking walk out on me"

"And _YOU_ don't just fucking give me the silent treatment. I didn't do anything"

He was still holding my arm tightly and it was starting to throb but I wasn't going to back down.

"It is between me and Shane, not you. You don't need to know everything that happens in my life"

"Then you don't get to beat people up for dancing with me, and you don't need to fuck me anymore. This game isn't fun anymore"

He looked taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean that we were having fun flirting and stuff, but after we fucked, things got complicated, I hate complicated and I don't want to deal with it. I just can't take this stress right now."

He reached out and took my throat in his hand, squeezing it just enough to make me lose my breath, and then he lowered his face to mine and spoke slowly

"It isn't a fucking _game,_ Kate, and you aren't the only one in this town you selfish bitch"

I stared back hard, not able to talk even if I wanted to.

"You don't fucking walk away from me unless I tell you to" He let go of my throat and dragged me back toward the house. When he closed the door behind us, he pushed me toward the bedroom and on to the bed. He took off his shoes and lay down without talking to me again. I was pissed and tired at this point so I figured it would be better to just sleep and sort things out in the morning.

_I was sitting in the back seat, my mom and dad in the front talking and laughing. I could barely make out the sunset through the clouds, deep grey clouds that threatened snow. I couldn't hear what they were saying to each other, but they looked so happy, care free. My dad reached over and took my mom's hand in his and brought it to his lap after kissing it gently. She smiled and laid her head back on the rest, watching him drive. Suddenly there was a bright light heading toward them; it was on the wrong side of the road and moving fast. My dad let go of my mom's hand and gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to swerve out of the way-he drove off the road and the car hit a bank, smashing the front end and releasing the airbags. I watched as their heads bounced into the white pillows and flew back after the impact- both of their bodies limp and fragile. My dad lifted his head and looked over to my mother, she was bleeding but she was ok. He unbuckled and punched the bag out of his way so that he could get to her better, his wrist bent at an odd angle. He was talking to her again, stroking her head and trying to get his bearings. I tried to ask them if they were ok, but every time I opened my mouth the sound of a train horn escaped it. I couldn't move my arms or legs so I was stuck watching them struggle and bleed. I started to scream, trying to get them to look at me, desperate to know if they were ok. The train horn screeched from my lungs, filling the car with deafening, frightening sound. My dad was looking at my mother still as her eyes widened in horror, her mouth formed in to an 'oh' and she started pulling at her seatbelt. My dad turned in time to see the train light hit them- then everything was black._

_I was standing outside in the cold now, the snow flurries flying around my head while the officer talked to me. I couldn't understand what he was saying to me, it sounded like he was underwater. _

_I was sitting in class when I got a phone call from my friend Jeremy, he should have been in class with me, but he was gone, so I went out in to the hall to answer._

_"Hey, you skipping?"_

_"Kate…I" His voice was shaking and he sounded scared._

_"Jeremy, what is wrong? We have a test so you better get in here"_

_"I just…I just killed them. I am so sorry, Kate! I am so sorry!" He was frantic_

_"Jer, what are you talking about? Calm down okay?"_

_"The train, it just came out from the sky and I was in the snow"_

_He was making zero sense and he sounded terrified, he was always so level headed._

_"Jer, tell me where you are, I will come to you"_

_"The….train, Kate I didn't mean to!"_

_"JEREMY!" I yelled trying to get him to focus_

_"They are coming for me now. I am going to die"_

_"Oh god, Jeremy what happened?"_

_"It is all over the place, I didn't mean to, I just lost it"_

_"TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!" I screamed at him._

_He took a deep, shaky breath._

_"The tracks. I am at the tracks."_

_"What part of the tracks"_

_"By the old barn. Oh god, Kate I hear them coming now"_

_I stuffed the phone in my pocket not bothering to turn it off and ran in to the classroom to get my bag and keys. Everyone stared at me as I weaved through the tables toward my seat. No one said anything, not even the teacher, as I grabbed my stuff and ran out the door heading to my car. I sped off toward the old barn that I loved. Outside it was rustic with weathered wood and weeds; it was perfect for black and white shots. On the inside it had several mattresses, a bunch of Christmas lights strung up, and alcohol bottles, both empty and full, by the dozen littering its floor. It had become the local place to hook up or hang out. When I came up over the hill I could see smoke, dust, police lights, and a mass of metal and wood. The smell of smoke hit me hard, even through the closed windows, and sirens were wailing. _

_I parked my car and ran toward one of the officers, panic taking over._

_"Jeremy, my friend Jeremy called me, he said he killed someone!" I had no idea if I was asking about him or the people he had said he killed. The officer pulled me over behind an ambulance where he could talk to me without me seeing the scene or Jeremy._

_"He is fine. He was drinking and he hit another car" _

_"But he is okay? He said someone died"_

_"The other car-"_

_"KATE!" Jeremy was yelling at me while the police took him, handcuffed, to the back of a squad car._

_"Jeremy, don't worry, were going to figure it out" I had no idea what to say to him. _

_"They are gone, I am so sorry, Kate" _

_"It's okay, Jer." He looked crazy_

_"Tell her!" he shouted to the officers "They are her parents, TELL HER"_

_They pushed him into the car and slammed the door and turned to look at me. I was confused and scared._

_"My parents?" I asked weakly "Where…"_

_"We haven't I.D.'d the bodies yet, but the boy kept saying it was-" HE cut off and looked at me delicately "He said they were Mr. and Mrs. Lissom."_

_I felt my jaw drop and my knees went weak. The officer caught me right before I hit the ground. I blinked hard, trying to focus, but I couldn't hear what he was saying to me. I pulled myself around the ambulance to see the wreck- the officer still supporting me; the train had cut the car in half and there was twisted metal littering the ground. There were two bodies covered by sheet, blood pooling out from under the covers; there were 4 paramedics sanding off to the right talking. Before I could think about anything I took off running, I had to see if it was them. As I approached, the paramedics rushed toward me, ready to cut me off._

_"NO!" I said as they grabbed for me. "YOU LET ME SEE THEM RIGHT NOW!" _

_The officer nodded and the paramedics backed off. "It isn't- " he started, not knowing what to say_

_"I need to see" I said quietly, still walking slowly over to the sheets. I kneeled in front of one of them and took a breath. It might not even be them. The train had demolished the car so I couldn't even tell what kind it was- there were lots of silver cars in the world. I grabbed a handful of the blood soaked sheet and drew in a breath. As I pulled the sheet off over my mom's face, my breathing stopped. I couldn't breathe in or out. Her eyes were open with fear and her head had a huge gash on it._

_"That's all you need to see miss" a paramedic said to me. He looked like he wanted to sink in to the earth._

_I pulled the sheet down lower to find that her left arm was completely gone from just above the elbow, the bone sticking out jagged and rough. _

_"Miss, stop, that is enough" The officer was pulling me back from the sight_

_"My dad?" I asked looking at the other sheet._

_He shook his head at me. "No that isn't…we haven't found-" he wasn't able to finish again._

_"That isn't my dad?" I asked pointing to the other sheet._

_The officer lowered his head._

_I walked back over to the other sheet and pulled it back-mangled and bloody legs lay in in a heap- It was the bottom half of my mother._

I woke up drenched in sweat, my heart racing. I looked over to see if Mac was still there, he was gone; I could feel the anger rising in my chest again.

I was on top of the covers, not wanting to be very close to Mac last night, so I sat up and found my shoes. I had no idea what time it was or anything, so I pulled my bag on to my lap to check my phone. 9 missed calls- and it was 2 pm.

"Fuck" I checked the caller i.d. to see who had called so many times; it was Terra's name over and over again. There were no messages, but I figured it must have been important for her to call me so many times. I slipped my shoes on and pulled my bag over my shoulder- I had assumed I had permission to leave now. As I walked down the gravel road to my house, I dialed Terra to check up on the issue. It rang 7 times then went to voice mail. I hung up then dialed it again, again 7 times then voicemail. Sighing I stuck my phone in my bag and trekked on home. Once I got home, I panicked slightly not seeing my car, and then remembered I had hidden it to play with Mac.

_That fucking asshole._

I undressed, showered then got in to something cooler, it was hotter than usual today. The bar would feel nice; Walter always had the AC on. When I pulled up I wasn't particularly pleased to see Mac's truck parked outside, but I decided that if he could give me the silent treatment, I could do the same. I walked in and found him sitting at a table with Walter, talking heatedly. They both went quiet immediately when they saw me, letting me know I was not invited in to the conversation.

"Hey, Walter, you seen Terra? She called me a bunch of times but she isn't answering"

He looked at Mac.

"We ain't seen that bitch" Mac spat.

"Man, your grammar never fails to make me swoon"

He glared at me. I was actually rather amused- I hadn't done a damn thing to bring this on, but he was obviously riled up, so I would just keep him that way.

"What do you need me to do today?" I asked coming up behind Walter to sling my arms over his shoulders for a hug. He patted my arms in response.

Why don't you check on Devon and Reg"

Mac looked at me, licked his lips and stood up.

"I'm going to find Shane then, I'll be back"

I put my stuff down at the bar while Walter walked Mac out. When he came back in he had a smirk on his face.

"You two, you fight like you are still 10 years old"

"He's a child"

Walter had such a peculiar relationship with Mac, he needed him around, but I was never sure if he _wanted_ him around. He clearly favored Devon because he was in love with Devon and Regina's mother, she had been the only woman that tamed him, or so I had heard. Most of the time he was pretty neutral to whatever Mac was doing, but lately, it seemed like their relationship had changed.

"After I check on them, I am going to head up to the house to check on Terra"

He looked up at me intently.

"I need you here"

"There isn't anyone here yet, you can handle without me for half an hour" I said.

"No"

"Why?"

I felt like a teenager asking to go to a party.

He stopped wiping the bar and looked at me. You need to stay away from there for right now.

"What happened?"

"Mac is up there is all, he is taking care of something"

"He said he was looking for Shane."

"Shane will be up there"

"Fine" I walked over to Devon and Regina's place in a huff. This whole town was going fucking loony.

Devon answered the door before I was even done rapping on it.

"What?"

"Breakfast? Walter is-"

"No" he cut me off

Christ these boys were fucking moody.

"What about Regin-"

"She doesn't need anything either" He slammed the door in my face.

I walked back toward the bar intent on going back in, but I had decided last minute that I would leave to check on Terra first. I pulled my keys from my pocket, I started my car and backed out as Walter came out the front door. He waved me back but I ignored him, I had to know what the fuck was happening.

When I pulled up to the rundown robin's egg blue victorian, I saw Mac's truck, Shane's car, and few of the girls' cars scattered around the dusty driveway. I looked around for Terra's and found it parked on the side of the house. I got out and walked up to ring the door but found it open. There were small drops of blood all over the floor, seeping in to the old wood.

"Hello?" I called "Terra?"

There was no answer. I walked around the main floor looking around, the kitchen, living room, dining room, sitting room and bathrooms were all empty. There were still drops of blood sporadically placed around the floor, but there was no sign of distress.

I started up the stairs to check on the 5 rooms that the girls had, listening hard for any sounds. Everything was quiet, eerie. I kept checking the floor for more blood, but there didn't seem to be any up here.

"AHHHHHH!" A scream broke out suddenly from a room down the hallway. I stopped no knowing what to do. I have no weapon or anything; my knife was still at Mac's house somewhere. I walked as quietly as I could down the hall toward the scream

"NOOO AAIHHHHHHH!" The scream was louder, blood curdling. I pressed my ear up to the door and listened hard.

"There, now it is taken care of. You fucking whore" It was Mac

There was crying.

"We need to get out of here man" Shane said. I listened for footsteps but didn't hear any.

"no, you stay here and make sure" Mac said

_Oh god what is happening?_ I felt sick

"Please" a weak voice begged

There was a girl pleading for help, blood and no sign of anyone else from around the house. I decided that since it was Mac, that I would be pretty safe walking in, he wouldn't hurt me too badly. I took a breath and turned the knob and swung the door open without walking forward.

There was a girl I had never seen strapped down on a rickety bed, she was covered in blood and I couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"Kate" Mac said, walking toward my shocked body.

"Mac, what the hell, what happened to her?"

He shoved me out the door and shut it behind us, leaving the girl alone with Shane. He pushed me up against the wall and lifted my eyes to meet his.

"She got pregnant" he said

I looked at him, confused.

"And? Is she giving birth, is that why she is bleeding?"

"No. Walter needed us to take care of it"

"What does that even- Mac, I don't understand"

"I will explain later ok, just leave"

"But where is everyone?"

"We told them to leave, they are out"

"Mac-"

"Please go, I will come get you later. Go home; I will call Walter for you"

My heart was breaking for the girl in the room, she was so close and I knew that the boys wouldn't let me help her.

I nodded to Mac. I walked out to my car in a daze, somehow I got home, I didn't remember driving there, but I found myself curled up on my couch.

_Did I really just walk in on Mac and Shane killing a pregnant girl?_


	7. Chapter 7

**CH 7: I am the misery you crave**

I stayed curled up on my couch for the rest of the day, waiting for Mac to call and tell me what the fuck was happening here. I checked my phone every other minute to make sure I had the ringer on. He owed me an explanation, he knew that. While I waited for his call my mind relived everything I had seen in the small room, I went over every detail I could remember.

_The faded pink walls were chipped and filled with long cracks. There was a huge bay window that looked out to the West; there were simple white curtains pinned back on either side of it. The bed was pushed against the wall; it was two mattresses stacked on top of each other, there were blood soaked sheets crumpled at the head of it. There was a 6 drawer dresser on the opposite side of the room, that was were Shane stood, leaning against it with a cocky smile on his lips. There was a small lamp sitting on the floor next to the bed with a horrible yellow tint from years of too much smoke. The girl was on the bed, pillows propped up under her head, her legs hanging off the corner of the foot of the bed, Mac positioned in between them, his hands covered in blood. She had mascara stained tears running down her face, her eyes were the size of softballs and her hands were clenched into fists, clutching a blanket that was next to her battered body. Her swollen stomach was at least 7 months pregnant—Mac had looked up when I pushed that door open, disturbed. But there was nothing happening that I could pin down to murder. She was bleeding, but maybe there was a problem with the pregnancy…but why was Mac there, what did he know about delivering babies- then there was Shane and his smirk while he watched Mac do whatever he was doing. The girl pleaded…she was obviously in pain. What the fuck!_

The more I thought about it, the less evidence I had and the more questions raced through my head. I had actually just become more angry at the situation that anything else. My phone rang shaking me out of my own darkness. I answered it without registering who it actually was.

"HELLO?"

"Kate, it's Terra"

"Fuck, where have you been? I have been calling you all day, and I went by, Mac said he made you guys leave…he and Shane were…holy fuck, terra, who is the pregnant chick at the house?"

"I know- I'm sorry, I just got my phone back. It's-that's Rachel."

"And?" I pressed

"She…well, she got in to some trouble"

"Are you _trying_ to be vague, Terra, cause it is really pissing me off"

"OK!" She sighed and stayed quiet for a moment "She got here about 9 months before you did; she moved here from Queens. She met Mac and they were hooking up for a while…nothing serious, you know Mac.

My body was shaking and I couldn't speak.

"…So after he had gotten his fill of her, or whatever, she got all depressed and started sleeping with everyone, including Walter. Well, she got pregnant."

She took another second to gather herself "Anyway, she had been having problems with drugs and stuff, and then her pregnancy started getting difficult…she started spotting and having horrible stomach pains. No one else would take her in, and Walter wouldn't let her stay at the hotel, so she was staying in her car or with anyone who would still fuck her; so Misty took her in to the house and she stayed in bed all the time. So she is now….let's see…just about 8 months pregnant and she has been getting worse…" She trailed off leaving me hanging again.

"So what the fuck does Mac know about dealing with pregnant girls?"

"Well nothing…from what I gather, Rachel told Walter that she knew the baby was his and that she would come after him for everything he had. So, well, this is Walter…I mean, you just don't do that. I don't know everything, but I _heard_ that Walter told her that she either needed to leave or get an abortion or he would kill her…she was too far along for an abortion and she had nowhere to go…so…"

"So…Mac was supposed to kill her?"

She didn't respond.

"Terra?"

"Yeah"

"Yeah Mac as supposed to kill her?"

"Yes"

"Fuck. Were they there when you got back?"

"Who?"

"Mac and Shane"

"No, Misty got a text that we could come back. When we got there they were gone and Rachel was in her room…bloody"

"IS SHE ALIVE!"

"Yeah, the doctor from the next town in coming to take her"

"What did they do to her, Terra?"

"She was beat up a little, she wouldn't say what happened though"

I felt blind fury and I could taste bile

"Kate, you there?"

"I have to go, don't go down to the Luna Mesa or anything; keep the girls inside the house ok?"

"Why?"

"Because Terra, Mac and Shane probably think they killed a girl and she might be able to slip away with them still thinking that, but if anyone talks, that is blown. Plus I don't think anyone should be around them for a while."  
"Misty won't like that, we have to work, Kate."

I didn't feel like arguing "Fine, just stay safe" I hung up before she answered.

_Ok, so pregnant girl, plus Walter, plus Mac, equals? What the fuck was Mac doing taking orders like that from Walter anyway? Why did he have to be such an obedient little dog? Why was Walter wanting to kill a pregnant girl, she couldn't hurt him. The girl is alive though, so can get away from this…_

My phone rang again, snapping me out of my sleuthing. Mac's name was scrawled on my screen. I had no desire to talk to him, I just wanted to think, so I hit ignore. It would piss him off and he might come looking for me, but I only thought about how much I wanted to smash his face in for being such an obedient little coward for Walter. Things in this town were unraveling around me, and I was seeing who people really were. Walter, my fucking 'uncle' fucked a little girl and then threatened to kill her when she got pregnant. I was sickened by the thought of the entire town, the people in it, and anything that happened here. I decided I had to escape, I gathered a small bag and my keys and walked out to my car, I had no idea what I would do, but I wasn't able to think about things clearly here. I started my engine and peeled out of the dusty driveway toward the main road. I passed Mac's truck on the way and cursed to myself as I watched it pull out behind me as I sped down the street. I kept my eyes glued on the rearview mirror, watching him follow me. I sped up more and he stayed right with me, he wasn't going to leave me alone.

The road out of the town was completely deserted, like always. A highway was put in several miles away which allowed people to skip the small towns all together, so the roads that snaked through the canyons were abandoned more often than not. The sky was beginning to lose its bluish glow now, and the greyish pink colors of evening were creeping across the valley. Mac was still behind me, about 5 car lengths back, and staying there. We drove and drove while the sky changed to orange, deep purple, then black; I could feel him behind me, like he was close enough to reach out and touch me. He turned on the high beams on the top of his truck which flooded into my tiny car. I tilted the mirror down so that I couldn't see them and I kept driving. He was moving closer now, his lights filling my car completely. He was playing a game and I was not in the mood. After a few more miles of him flooding his lights into my car, trying to blind me, I slammed on my breaks, making my car fish tale a bit as I skidded to a stop. His truck did the same, ending up just behind my car almost crushing in to it.

I flung my door open and marched back to the door that he was crawling out of.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing, Mac?"  
"What the fuck do you think _YOU_ are doing, Kate?"

I rolled my eyes at him, the truck lights were lighting up half of the desert so I knew he could see.

"I am not in the mood to hear your shit, Mac, just fucking leave me alone" I turned and started back to my car

"I called you" He offered

I ignored it and kept walking.

"Where are you going? Looks like your heading out of here."

"It doesn't matter. Go back to town and fuck some of the whores, do your drugs, beat people up…_kill people_" I spat at him. I was still walking away.

His hands were on me in seconds, spinning me around and making me look into his face. He could still dominate me just with a look and I hated him for it-hated my body for still wanting him.

"You don't know what you are talki-"

"I don't fucking CARE, Mac. I don't care what you did. I don't care about you. I don't care about the town, or the fucked up shit people do in it"

It was all a lie, I cared deeply, but I didn't want him to know it. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel him. I wanted to run until I passed out. I wanted to be numb. He pulled me closer so I could see the crystal clear blue orbs bury themselves into my soul.

"I should, but I am not going to let you go"

"You don't own me, I can-"

"No, I will never let you go" It was a fierce statement. He was gripping me so tight I thought I would collapse. I pulled my eyes from him and looked at the ground.

He let me go and stood back a little bit, his eyes still on me.

_You're everything I want. I would risk everything for you._

I looked at him again. I knew I couldn't leave. I needed him- the game we had once was nothing anymore and I just wanted whatever we had going on.

Then, it was like he could tell what I was feeling and thinking.

He closed the space between us and pulled my face to his.

_Nothing good will come of this._

He kissed me hard, urgent. His tongue split my lips open and found mine. He pulled me as close as he could, his arms wrapping around me. I couldn't control myself anymore. I reached up and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. My body was on fire, everything but him was gone from my mind, and I felt freer than I had all day. He was slipping my shirt up over my head, pulling my naked boobs in to his dirty white wife beater. His lips claimed mine again while he slid his hands down my torso toward my shorts. I could feel how hard he was while he explored me. I pulled his dingy shirt up over his head and my hands found his strong, bare chest. Our lips connected again, like magnets. He had his hands in my unbuttoned shorts, playing with me while I undid the knot in the arms of his coveralls on his hips. Our breathing was fast and ragged as we claimed each other out in the middle of nowhere. When I found his dick, I pulled it out of his boxers, stroking it as he groaned. I unzipped his coveralls the rest of the way and they fell to the ground. My hand was stroking him, his boxers clumped under his balls. His mouth moved down to my shoulders, my collarbone, and then to my breast, licking and teasing me. He pulled my hand off of him and he slowly moved down my body, kissing every inch of me on the way. When he was on his knees in front of me, he pulled my shorts down and helped me kick them off. His hands grasped my ass and brought me to his mouth, sliding his tongue over my slit and making me cry out. I had to grab on to his shoulders to keep myself up. He slid two finger inside me, swirling them around while I grinded into him. My eyes closed as he worked on me, making me forget everything. I felt the twinge in my stomach that I craved, my walls clenching around his fingers tightly. He pulled them out and moved his head back denying me my pleasure, and looked up at me, sucking his lips loudly. He stood back up and pulled me to him, picking me up to wrap around his hips. I grabbed on to his shoulders again, moaning lightly as he used his free hand to help himself enter me again. I screamed out loudly, my cries echoing off the canyon walls as he thrust in to me roughly. He walked us over to my trunk where he sat me on the cold metal, making me shiver lightly. He was still pumping in to me, his face buried into my neck, while I rocked my hips in to his. I felt my body tighten around his again while we worked our bodies together. He was grunting and the sound of him sent vibrations down through me. I tilted my head back as I felt my body hit its high, my orgasm shattering me completely. He kept thrusting in to me roughly while he neared his own bliss. After I came down a bit, I moved my fingers and found that I had made marks in his shoulders with my nails, small droplets of blood mixed in with the freckles that dotted them.

"Oh Fuck!" he cried out just before pushing in to me harder than he ever had. I could feel the backs of my legs bruising as he slammed in to me without mercy. I gripped him tightly as he rode out his high. When he was done he looked at me intently, his eyes burning.

"I didn't kill her" He said simply

"I know"

He sighed and kissed me hard. When he pulled away he stared at me again.

"You destroy me. You are like a drug" He sighed

"I am the misery you crave" I said, completely understanding what he meant.

He pulled out of me and pulled his coveralls back on while I watched. He came over and helped me off the trunk and watched me get dressed again. Time seemed to have stopped completely. Everything was surreal -it was pitch black around us, but we were light up in the high beams of his truck, there were no sounds other than the slight wind through the canyons.

We stood facing each other, silently, for a long time. We didn't touch or move- our thoughts on what was going to happen next.

After what seemed like forever he reached over and took my hand and led me to my car.

"You should get out of here" he said not looking at me.

"What?" I asked, surprised

"You should leave, this town is poison and you will end up fucked like the rest of us." He pulled out some money from his pocket and shoved it in to my hand.

"…No" I didn't know what to do

"You have to just go, Kate. Walter is going to…that girl has messed things up"

"She didn't do anything wrong" I said, feeling defensive.

"No, but Walter won't let it go"

"Terra said the doctor from the next town is coming to get her. She'll be safe, she'll be gone. Tell Walter she is dead"

"Maybe" His hand was still wrapped around mine clutching the money. His eyes were locked on mine.

"Can we both just go?"

"I can't leave"

"Yes you can"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"It's complicated"

"I gathered" Getting him to talk was like pulling teeth. "Mac, please, just talk to me"

He turned his head and looked off into the darkness.

"Why are you always so angry?" he asked

"What?"

"You came here so angry, and you don't trust people…why?"

"Now, Mac?" I asked

He looked at me again. He had an odd expression plastered on his face.

"I guess not"

"Come with me" I repeated. He shook his head. I shook his hand off of mine and started to get out of the car, but he pushed me back in and put his weight against the door.

"Secrets" he said

"Oh my god Mac, I have had it with this cryptic crap, just, let's go"

He shook his head again. "You need to leave. I won't talk to you anymore, I won't tell anyone where you went, I won't tell anyone I talked to you"

"That isn't what I want"

"That is how it will be if you come back"

I stared at him, unable to understand what was happening in his head. This had to be drugs or alcohol talking. It was so unlike him.

"I'll see you…or not" He said. He turned and walked back to his truck, turned it around and sped off back toward Cainville.

I sat in the darkness for a long time, weighing my options. I could get out of here and let this hell go, but could I let Mac go? I looked at the wad of money he had handed me, there were tons of $100 bills wrinkled together. I sighed-he had given me an out.

My car was in neutral so the clock on my dash shone dimly at me-10:46pm- it was the only thing light I could see in any direction- it was like being in space. I got out of my car and walked to the hood where I climbed up and leaned against the windshield.

_I can get out of here, just leave and forget everything. Walter is way more fucked than I thought. Mac would be fine, he had the whores; the whores, including Terra, had clients-no one would really be affected by my leaving. I could leave my questions there on the side of the highway and find a new place to live. Can I let those questions go though? Can I just let Mac talk to me all cryptically, ask me weird questions, say weird things, and then leave?_

I looked up at the stars that were brighter than I had ever seen in my life; they made me feel so small. The wind started whipping around me, bringing a chill. I slid off the hood and got back in my car looking at the clock again; 11:11pm.

I didn't have a wish, but I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted- it was the man who made me crave things, made me feel alive. I wanted Mac. I started my engine again and flipped my car around, heading back to Red Canyon, back to get to my questions answered and get all of the secrets out in the open.


	8. Chapter 8

**CH 8: Burn me alive.**

|| This is Mac's point of view- I thought it was time to get in on what was happening with him at this point- it goes back over the past couple of days' events. ||

_Who the fuck am I anymore? This is going to end in flames._

Odd shapes danced in front of me as I sped down the road toward Cainville, away from Kate. I had gotten to have her one more time, and it was amazing, as usual, but I should have just made sure she left town without interfering.

I was surprised to see her leaving, it was best, but still, it was a surprise that she would just take off. On the other hand, she had seen something that would scare anyone. Pulling out behind her, seeing her ahead of me, so close, was painful; I had to touch her one last time.

It was done now though.

When I pulled up to the Luna Mesa, Walter was standing outside with Devon, they both looked up as my door creaked open and I stepped out.

"Where you been son?" Walter asked turning from Devon.

"Driving."

"You take care of that bitch?" Devon asked

"It ain't your fucking problem what I did with her little brother."

"None of those whores have been down here" Walter said matter-of-factly

I nodded and reached into my pocket to pull out my smokes, my fingers brushed passed something silky-Kate's underwear I'd taken the other night. I pushed them aside and found the familiar box. I stuck a smoke in my mouth, light it and took a long drag.

"I have to get back to Reggie" Devon said patting Walter on the shoulder.

"Fuckin' sick" I said, knowing it would mess with him.

He eyed me for a second, and then turned to walk back over to his love nest

"I ain't gunna take care of your shit anymore" I said to Walter

He looked at me, a crazy look in his eye. I ignored it and walked back to my truck.

"Mac!" I little voice called as I climbed in. I glanced over to the girl running toward me.

"Fuckin' leave me alone, Glitter" I said, not knowing her actual name

She pouted. "It's Star"

"Does it look like I fuckin' care"

She looked down at the ground as I shut my door on her and started the truck up.

She had been one of the several whores that I let suck me off at any given time. Things had changed though and I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. I looked at her once more before hitting the gas pedal and leaving her in the dust.

I pulled in to my driveway and sat in the truck for several minutes before getting out.

I pulled out a beer from the fridge and sat on my couch in the darkness, going over the day; it was a fucking mess.

**Last night**

I rolled over and listened as the phone rang from the kitchen. I reluctantly pulled my legs out from the covers and walked to the door. Kate was still fast asleep, the phone or my movement didn't bother her. The phone rang incessantly as I walked slowly down the hall.

"Hello"

"Hey Son. I have a buyer lined up; I need more product by Friday"

"Ya, fine."

"I got another job for ya too"

I sat quietly waiting to hear his orders, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"That slut, Rachel is giving us some trouble. She's running her mouth-telling everyone the baby is mine. Take care of it"

_Us- funny how things became 'us' when they involved this kind of shit._

"You want her out of town?"

"I want her _gone" _he said. I knew what he meant. "Have Shane help you"

I hung up and let my body slide to the kitchen floor.

It was still dark outside, so I knew it was way to fucking early to deal with this shit.

I punched Shane's number in and waited for him to answer- If I was going to be up at this time, that fuck was going to be up too.

"Hurllooo"

"Shane-wake the fuck up"

"Mac?" He sounded awake immediately

"Walter called. He wants us to get rid of Rachel"

"…Shame, she's a nice fuck, even with that belly"

"Ya, well you're going to get the fuck over it."

"What did he say?"

"She's runnin' her mouth- he wants her gone"

"She is about to pop"

"Ya, and that'd be why he wants her gone"

"Ah"

"We'll go over tomorrow and see what needs to be done."

"Ya know, I heard she was telling people it was your kid- not Walters"

"It ain't mine- we barely fucked, she mostly blew me"

"Well, she has made her way around- could be anyone's"

"It doesn't fucking matter, Shane- I will be over later and we'll go up to the house"

"We gunna kill her?"

"I told you we would check things out!"

Shane started laughing.

"The fuck is so funny"

"The whore getting pregnant."

"Yeah, it's real fucking funny."

I yawned long and loud wanting to just be back in bed, but my anger was rising with every stupid fucking comment Shane was making.

"How did this happen?" I asked more to myself than to Shane.

"Well, she fucked everything she could- that makes babi-

"I know _HOW_ it happens; I want to know how she _LET _it happen" fucking dipshit

"Sorry. Kate know? I bet she's gunna have something to say about it."

"This is going to fuck things up for me, Shane; which means it isn't going to be good for any of you"

"I can do it-you don't have to" He was trying to get on my good side now

"Well, I will give you one day to fix it or I will slit your fucking throat, do you hear me?"

"OK. I got it. What do you want me to do with the rest of em?"

"You tell those whores to keep their mouth shut about it or I will kill them too- and she doesn't find out, you got me?"

"I got you"

I sighed and hung up the phone. My blood was boiling and I wanted to hurt someone.

_What the fuck did this have to do with me? _

Kate's voice snapped my out of my thoughts.

"Hey, you weren't in bed. Why are you on the floor?"

"Shane called" I lied

"Everything alright?"

Why did she have to show up right now, when I was so furious? She looked amazing standing against the door frame, but I still had the urge to shove my fist through someone's chest.

"Nothing you need to fucking worry about" Maybe she'll just drop it

"Uh hu. I am just a bitch you fuck- no need to talk to me" I guess she wouldn't.

I stood up and stared at her trying to get my temper down a bit.

"Mac-" she started. Something about the way she was talking to me got me more riled up- we weren't a fucking couple, she needed to know when to back off.

I walked past her to the bedroom and settled for punching my pillow a few times. I yawned again and sat on the bed with my mind reeling with what Walter had told me to do. I lay back on the newly fluffed up pillow and settled my hands on my stomach trying to get my breathing to even out.

She walked in a minute later, fumbling for something on the floor then walking back out. The bathroom light turned on making me squint and bring a hand up over my eyes. I got up to see what she was doing; she was slamming things around. I leaned up against the door frame and waited for her to come back out. Finally she walked back out, fully dressed, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Home"

"Why?"

"Because I am not going to deal with a petulant child, Mac" She opened the door and then slammed it shut behind her.

I grabbed my boots that were sitting by the couch and shoved my feet in them and followed her outside. She was walking across the gravel with her arms swinging wildly at her sides. I ran over to meet up with her, my temper flared.

When I reached her I grabbed her elbow.

"Let me go, Mac!" she ripped her arm out of my grasp but I reached out and latched on to it again. I spun her around to face me. The street light in front of the house was lighting her face a little and I saw how angry she was.

_This night needs to fucking end already, what a fucking nightmare._

"You don't just fucking walk out on me"

"And _YOU_ don't just fucking give me the silent treatment. I didn't do anything"

_Fuck, she really just wasn't going to let it go_.

"It is between me and Shane, not you. You don't need to know everything that happens in my life"

"Then you don't get to beat people up for dancing with me, and you don't need to fuck me anymore. This game isn't fun anymore"

_Game? _ "What are you talking about?"

"I mean that we were having fun flirting and stuff, but after we fucked, things got complicated, I hate complicated and I don't want to deal with it. I just can't take this stress right now."

Instinctively I reached out and took her throat in my hand.

"It isn't a fucking _game,_ Kate, and you aren't the only one in this town you selfish bitch"

Her eyes were set, revealing no emotions.

"You don't fucking walk away from me unless I tell you to" I let go of her throat and took her hand, pulling her back toward the house. I shoved her in ahead of me and closed the door behind us. I pushed her toward the bedroom and on to the bed. After I took off my shoes and lay down I shut my eyes waiting for sleep to come.

The phone woke me up again, but at least the sun was up now. I looked over at Kate; she was curled up on top of the covers, her back to me. I walked out and snatched up the phone from the kitchen floor.

"What"

"Mac, hey, Walter called, he is pissed. Rachel was at his house this morning; she says she is going in to labor. He wants you to go with me to make sure we fix this."

I took the phone from my ear and slammed it against the wall making new holes. I brought the phone back to my ear.

"Fine. I am on my way. Meet me at the Luna Mesa in 10"

I threw the phone down and went to the bedroom to get dressed. I pulled on some jeans and my ratty shirt and shoes.

As I pulled up to the bar, Walter came out with Shane, they were talking seriously.

Walter looked at me and then shooed Shane off.

"She says she is goin' in to labor" He leered.

"I heard."

"I sent Shane up to clear the place out"

"I need a drink"

I walked passed him and headed in to get a whiskey. He watched me down 4 shots without saying anything.

"What is going on with you and Kate?" He said finally

I looked at him while I drank down my 5th shot. "Nothing"

"Don't look like nothing"

I didn't know what to say. I was exhausted and tired of talking to everyone.

"You know her daddy was the man who got me in to this business" He had an eyebrow raised waiting for my reaction. I poured and downed another shot.

"We met in high school, best friend I ever had, taught me all I know."

I poured and drank my 6th shot, my vision getting a little more blurry as the alcohol took effect.

I stood up after the 6th shot and walked over to a table, Walter following me.

"You best not fuck this up, son"

"If you're worried, why don't you do it" I had some liquid courage.

Kate's car rolled us and she pulled her amazing body out of the car and walked in.

"I trust you" Walter said quickly

"Ok then"

"Hey, Walter, you seen Terra? She called me a bunch of times but she isn't answering" Kate said coming up behind Walter.

"We ain't seen that bitch" I said, my nerves on edge.

"Man, your grammar never fails to make me swoon"

She wasn't going to back down.

"I'm going to find Shane then, I'll be back" I walked out to my truck with Walter on my heels.

He didn't say anything as I got in the cab and threw it in to gear, making dirt cough up behind me.

The drive to the whores' house was a little more difficult with 6 shots and no food in my stomach. When I got there, Shane was out front watching the girls get in their cars and leave.

I walked in to the house without a word to Shane.

"She's upstairs"

I looked up the staircase and listened; there was moaning and whining. I started up the stairs with Shane behind me. When I rounded the corner that housed the noises, she was laying on the bed with her legs spread wide. There was blood everywhere and she had fistfuls of the sheets.

"He-HELP ME!" she cried

I looked at Shane, he had a sick look on his face, and he looked like he was enjoying the scene.

"What the fuck is wrong with you" I asked

"It's kind of hot isn't it?"

"You high?"

"I had a hit"

I hadn't touched the drug in several weeks, I was done with the shit- and now seeing it on Shane reminded me of why exactly I had left the shit behind.

"Stay over there" I said pointing to the dresser. He walked over obediently and craned his head to make sure he could still see.

"What that fuck happened" I said coming over to Rachel's, writhing body

"The baby-it's coming- OH GOD! Something is wrong!" She was sweating and crying.

I crouched down to see what the fuck I was looking at, I couldn't really see anything through the blood, it was everywhere. I pulled the sheet that was half covering her body and tried to mop up some of the blood to get a better look; it didn't help, she kept bleeding. I crumpled the sheet up and tossed it to the side and stared at the sight. Thoughts of the night Rick died flashed in to my head, his body hung up on the hook while he flailed. I looked at my hands, completely soaked in blood.

"AHHHHHH!" Rachel screamed, jarring me back to the present

She was shaking and reaching for the needle that was by her arm.

"Bitch is tweaking out" Shane said with a smirk

I grabbed the needle looking at the contents.

"I want it" she whispered

I threw the needle to the corner of the room and watched her twist her body around in frustration.

"Get it out of me" she was growing weaker, her face was pale and she couldn't get much gusto behind her words.

"Get it the fuck out of me, Mac. I want it out of me now" She had her eyes closed. She pulled a knife out from underneath her body and I watched as she sliced it across her stomach spilling more blood.

I grabbed the knife and threw it over toward Shane.

"We need to tie her down" I looked at her robe hanging on the closet door next to Shane "-get the tie from her robe"

Shane tied her up while I stared at her, unsure of what to do. At this rate she would just bleed out.

When Shane was done tying her up, he licked his finger and trailed it down her cheek, his eyes on fire.

I glared at him and walked back to the dresser shrugging.

"Pull it out Mac" she pleaded.

"NOOO AAIHHHHHHH!" she was gasping "I'm dying" she whispered

I looked at Shane, he looked satisfied.

"She'll bleed out" I said

"Let me" she said quietly "Let me die, I want to"

"Then, I guess it is taken care of. You fucking whore" I spat at her.

She started crying again.

"We need to get out of here man" Shane said.

"No, you stay here and make sure" I said

"Please" Rachel begged, her eyes on the needle in the corner

The door creaked open and Kate was standing in the doorway, her eyes huge and fearful.

"Kate" I stood up and moved toward her.

"Mac, what the hell, what happened to her?"

I grabbed her shoulders and shoved her out the door and shut it behind us. I didn't stop pushing her until she hit the wall, her body limp.

"She got pregnant" was all I could say

She looked confused.

"And? Is she giving birth, is that why she is bleeding?"

"No. Walter needed us to take care of it"

"What does that even- Mac, I don't understand"

"I will explain later ok, just leave"

"But where is everyone?"

"We told them to leave, they are out"

"Mac-"

"Please go, I will come get you later. Go home; I will call Walter for you"

After she left, I grabbed Shane and drug him outside and in to my truck.

"Tell the girls to go back to the house"

"Huh? Shouldn't we wait 'til she-"

"Fucking CALL them, Shane!"

He pulled out his phone and pushed some buttons, then shoved it back on his pocket. I drove to the Luna Mesa and shoved him out of the car; he could make it to where ever from there.

Walter started toward me,

"Kate ain't gunna be in" I shouted to him before I quickly sped away toward my house. I got home to an empty house, no surprise. I got in the shower, clothes and all, and began washing the blood off. When I was high, I would find blood on myself a lot, but it never bothered me, it was part of the high experience. Now it made my stomach churn. After I cleaned up I got dressed again and headed out to my truck, knowing I had to go talk to Walter now. He was sitting outside of the Luna Mesa, waiting.

"She's in bad shape, she won't make it" I said

"You didn't kill her?"

"Sliced her stomach open, she won't survive" I said omitting who actually did the cutting.

He looked satisfied. "You coming in for a drink?"

"I need to call… I have to make a call"

He knew who I was going to call.

The phone rang and rang, she didn't pick up. I got back in my truck intent on going over to her house, but as I reached the drive way she sped past me. I pulled out to follow her.

_Maybe she is leaving- getting the fuck out of this town_

AS I followed her further and further in to the canyons, it became clear that she was in fact leaving. I stayed on her for several more miles until I let myself do what I had been dying to do since I pulled out behind her. I flipped on the flood lights on the top of my truck and waited. We drove a few more miles before she slammed on the breaks and made her car fish tail off the road; I slammed on my own breaks and came to a stop just before slamming in to the back of her. She was out of her car and storming over to meet me at my door.

My body felt like it was on fire. _Let me burn._


	9. Chapter 9

**_CH 9: _****From the ashes**

|| We are back to Kate's POV now. Sorry it took so long to update…I had a big psych paper due ||

It had been a week since Mac had driven away from me- a week since we'd talked. He was sticking to his guns about not speaking to me, despite my efforts. The day after we had parted I knocked on his door for close to half an hour before I gave up and went home.

It had taken him 3 days to even step foot in the Luna Mesa, knowing I would be there, but he had finally walked in with his crowd of friends; I could tell immediately that something had changed in him- he was more like the Mac I knew when Walter first brought me here- he was rough, mouthy, and his cold demeanor had come back.

I figured he'd have to talk to me now that he was coming back in for drinks and pool, but it became obvious he wanted nothing to do with me when he started sending up random whores to collect his drinks. They all knew we had history so they would walk up sheepishly to get his order and then retreat without looking at me – seems I had developed a reputation.

I had decided that if he was going to be a complete prick and pretend I didn't exist, that I would do the same. Whenever he walked in I would look past him and continue on like he wasn't there. Some of his buddies thought this was something comedic so sometimes they would come up to make a comment or taunt me- most of the time I laughed at their weak attempt to rile me up, other times I ignored them completely- however, tonight was Mark's turn to try to get a reaction from me. Mark had worked with Mac at the garage for years and, so I heard, looked up to him, so he tried for the same kind of attitude as Mac had, but he was so bad at executing it, I almost felt bad for the guy.

Mac and his boys had just walked in, it was just after 10 on Friday night, so it was already pretty rowdy; the boys had claimed their table and were talking among themselves before Mark sauntered over to me while I was talking to Terra at the bar.

"What can I get you guys- the usual?" I asked without really paying attention to him

He didn't say anything; instead he tried his damndest to pull his tough guy routine out from wherever he hid it. I looked at him while he stood there-obviously trying to come up with something to say.

"Mmm, I am going to make that pussy bleed" he looked so proud of himself.

I almost spat out the Pepsi I was drinking- he was just so fucking pathetic. As I gathered myself from his attempt to piss me off, I looked at him calmly and smiled.

"You're too late, it already does" I said. Terra burst out laughing.

He stood there for a second, not getting it, then it hit him and he wrinkled up his nose and walked off muttering to himself.

"I never understood why that guy even tries- he is just so…so…" Terra shrugged not able to find words.

She took another shot before she went out to find her work for the evening.

I had given up on trying to figure out what Mac's issue was and started focusing on the question he asked me- one that shook me more than I would have liked.

"Why are you always so angry?" I had spent more time than I would have liked running those words around in my head. It was like he didn't accept that I was just short tempered, like he knew I had some deep seeded reason for my anger and distrust- I had been like that for as long as I could remember, but since the accident I had a hatred that was set to 100%, boiling just under the surface- most of that had to do with how they died, they had been stolen from me; the other part was Jeremy; he was responsible for killing them and he knew it, I made sure I reminded him of it too; I made sure he knew that I thought it was bullshit that just because his father was the chief of police he got off on minimal charges for what he did- and he took it-until the day he had come to the school and shot himself in the middle of the square in front of hundreds of people eating lunch. I was angry at myself for pushing him to do that.

"Did you hear me?"

"What?"

"I guess not…I asked if you were ok. You have a weird look on your face"

It was Terra; she had come up to the bar between men to refresh her drink.

"I'm fine, my stomach has been really sour lately…I think it's everything that has happened…memories and shit"

Terra rummaged around in her bag for a second and then pulled out a small bottle of TUMS.

"Here-I use em for hangovers"

"Thanks" I said popping open the bottle, taking three and handing the bottle back.

"OH!" Terra said, her eyes widening. "We heard from Rachel earlier"

"How is she?"

"Out of the ICU."

"Good" We had heard that the baby didn't make it; she barely did. She spent several days in the intensive care unit and had two surgeries.

"Ya, I guess her sister came down after hearing the news and they rekindled things, SO-" she took her shot "Rachel will be moving to Montana with her when she gets out"

"I'm glad it worked out" My stomach was in knots and gurgling under my fingers; I didn't want to talk but I also didn't want to push my only real friend away either. She looked at my hand rubbing my stomach.

"Take a shot" she said absently

"That would probably make me hurl" I couldn't handle much liquor lately.

"He's cute" Terra said suddenly.

"Go get 'im tiger" I said accepting the out and going back to wiping down the bar without looking at her point of interest.

Terra set her shot glass down and walked away; I could always count on a guy to distract Terra from real life. I grabbed the small glass and started cleaning it just for something to do.

"Hello stranger" a deep voice said, sending a shiver down my spine. I looked up in to startling green eyes- eyes that belonged to the man who cheated on me and drove me out of Texas.

"Ryan, jesus christ, what the fuck are you doing here?" Seeing him was not doing anything to ease my stomach.

"Got your address from Hannah"

"Right" I spat "She wouldn't have told you"

"I'm persuasive"

"What do you want?" I said locking his eyes with mine.

"Haven't you held on to this grudge long enough, I mean look at where you are" He let his eyes move around the bar, clearly unimpressed. "Why don't you come on back home?"

I couldn't help myself from stealing a glance at Mac; he had his own eyes pinned on Ryan and I, glaring.

I quickly looked back to Ryan, feeling stupid for my moment of weakness.

"I am home- this is my home now. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"I want you back." Simple and to the point- he was always good at that.

"HA! We weren't happy, isn't that why you fucked that other girl? Why would you want to go back to that?"

"People make mistakes." He shrugged, looking around again.

"You made a mistake coming here, Ryan."

"I'm staying over at the shit hole across the street, why don't you come over after you get off and we can talk."

The glass I was holding was dangerously close to shattering in my fists at this point. I knew I couldn't make him go, he never did anything he didn't want to- ever.

"Ya, go wait-hold your breath for me"

He sneered but got up and walked out, knowing I would come. Terra took his seat.

"You know him?

"He is my ex-the one who cheated on me; he's the reason I am here" I said without expanding on the subject.

I kept my eyes on the door the rest of the night, keeping tabs on who came in or went out; nervous that he would show up again when he got impatient enough. When I finally got everyone out and closed up I turned the lights out and stood in the dark in front of the bar, watching the hotel, he was over there waiting for me and he wouldn't leave until he got his way. I ran my fingers over the knife in my back pocket, took a breath and started walking over. The gravel crackled under my feet as I crossed the parking lot- I felt like I was being watched, which I hated, but I couldn't see anyone. As I got closer, a door with the small number 2 opened and Ryan poked his head out smiling.

"Heya Princess"

"Don't call me that, I ain't your princess"

He smirked and stood to the side for me to go inside. I stood outside of the door with my hands resting in my back pockets-close to the knife-

He opened the door wider and gestured for me to come in.

"I'm not going inside, Ryan; you're fucking crazy if you think I would"

"It isn't like I am going to hurt you, I've never hurt you"

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Well, physically"

I took a step backwards away from the door and crossed my arms. His brow furrowed and he slumped his head.

_Always the little actor_

"Look, if you aren't going to talk I am going to go home, I've had a long day"

"Just come in" He reached out to grab my arm but I moved sideways in time- his hand grabbed at air then fell to his side.

"BITCH!" He spat at me.

"You don't get to touch me" I turned and started for my car but his hands were on me, grabbing me tightly. He threw me to the ground and pinned me underneath him, my arms were held up over my head. His eyes were wild and he reeked of alcohol.

"You always thought you were so fucking special, Kate. But you know what, you aren't. You are just a fucked up girl who made her best friend commit suicide. And now you're just another whore in a hick town in the middle of nowhere"

"Then you'll have no problem leaving me the _fuck_ alone!" I screamed. He slapped me hard across the face; I could taste blood on my lip.

"Oh, I will leave, but after I get something from you- I have missed that tight little pussy of yours and I think I want anoth-"

Suddenly he was off of me and curled up on the ground next to me, clutching his face. There was a steady stream of blood running down his temple and he was writhing in pain. I looked around and found Mac standing above me with a crowbar. He stepped over me and kicked Ryan in the stomach, making him double over and moan. Ryan looked up at Mac, his eyes full of fear as the crowbar hit him in the skull again and then again. There was a sickening crack that came from the third blow and blood began to pool around Ryan's curled up body. His eyes were closed and he was limp as Mac dropped his body to the ground and started punching him over and over again.

I was paralyzed watching Mac destroy the man who had hurt me, I wasn't able to make myself do or say anything at all to stop it. I felt numb as Mac continued to punch the now mangled face of Ryan. Mac pulled Ryan up by the shirt and hit him one last time, letting his body fall to the gravel; then he lowered his knees on to Ryan's chest, making Ryan choke out a low gurgle- then he raised the crowbar over Ryan's head.

"Mac" I whispered.

He didn't look at me, but hesitated for a second, then stood back up, grabbed Ryan's arm and then started dragging him. I watched in silence as Mac pulled Ryan up off the ground and threw him in to the bed of his truck, got in the cab and then drove away. I don't know how long I stood there, stunned, but the drops of rain from the angry clouds overhead brought me back to reality. My body was shaking and I had a headache the size of a continent. Again, I blindly made my way home; I curled up on my bed with my rain soaked clothes on and listened to the rain dance on my roof.

_It's a dream_

A pounding on my front door woke me from my sleep; I knew instantly that what I had seen was not a dream, it was real. I dragged myself up and walked to the door, my wet clothes sticking to my body. I opened the door, knowing it was Mac, I knew he would come after what had happened. He stood in the doorway, soaked; the front of his coveralls was red with Ryan's blood. His eyes were dilated and he couldn't seem to stand still, he was picking at some of his old scars on his arm.

"You started again"

He nodded, knowing I meant meth.

"Why?" I never cared much that he did it; screwed up people have screwed up ways of dealing with shit.

"You're ok" He said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes" I actually felt great, I had no feeling about anything really; I was just…there.

He nodded at me and looked at the fresh blood that was coming out of a scab he had picked. My mind was blank so I just stood watching him rub the blood all over his arm.

"Is Ryan…?"

"He ain't comin' back"

He looked at me quickly and them turned and walked off into the rain back to his truck. Something about how his body moved brought feeling back to me; I felt an animal rising inside of me, I wanted him back, I needed him. I ran out in to the rain behind him and grabbed him, turning him to face me. I slammed my mouth to his and tasted the odd fumes of the meth on his tongue. I pulled on his hair, making him move in to me. His hands were on my hips, holding me to him while our mouths fought for control; eagerly tasting the other. He lifted me up so I could wrap my legs around him. He pulled back, breaking the kiss so he could look at me; he pushed my dripping wet hair out of my face and then brought his mouth back to mine. My body was on fire, this was what he did to me. He walked us in to the house, me still wrapped around him and fell back on to the couch so that I was straddling him. He lifted my shirt off and threw it across the room, then leaned me back so I was inches off the floor; he lowered me on to it slowly and then brought his body over mine, his hair dripping on me. He undid the blood soaked coveralls and pulled them off of his shoulders and down his torso. I helped him pull them off of his hips and off and then I pulled his already ripped wife beater off of him roughly. He unbuttoned my pants and drug them off my body, throwing them across the room too. His hands were going over every inch of me, sending my body in to spasms of pleasure. I pulled him out of his boxers as he buried his face in my shoulder, biting and kissing every inch of my neck. I stroked him hard, playing with his tip while I moaned for more. He pulled my underwear off and brought them to his nose and closing his eyes. I watched for a second before getting antsy, so I pulled him back down on me. He grinded in to me hard, pressing his erection in to my lower stomach while I explored his shoulders with my fingers. His mouth was moving slowly down my body to where I ached for him. When he finally reached my slit, he ran his tongue over it making me cry out. I could feel him smile as he continued licking me. I bucked my hips in to his mouth so he added two fingers, entering them in me and causing my body to convulse.

"Oh god, Mac"

He removed his fingers and flipped me over so I was on my stomach, my face pressed in to the carpet. He slowly brought his body up mine until his head was up by my ear.

"I want to hear you scream" he whispered

He entered me hard and fast, and I lost my voice. He grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling my head up and back as he rammed in to me repeatedly. He had never dominated me like this, but I was going to make damn sure he would do it again. I could feel my body gearing up for orgasm quicker than I ever had before; he let go of my hair and rested his hands on either side of my head while I came. The new position let him go harder and deeper, so he groaned as he got closer. I was never one for complete rough, domination, but I decided on a whim to throw him off me; he fell backwards with a look of obsession. I climbed on top of him, letting him enter me again, and began thrusting as hard as I could. He closed his eyes as he neared his release once again; and I moved my hands up to his throat while he moaned. When I first started the slight choke, his eyes opened in confusion, but then he closed them again as he came, gasping underneath me. I released him and fell on to the ground beside him while we caught our breath.

"The fuck you learn that" he asked rubbing his throat.

"Saw it in a movie once. How was it?"

"I didn't know you were in to that shit-fuck that was amazing" his hand was moving over the place where mine had been

"I am the dark that you created, Mac" He lifted his head and looked at me, a cocky smirk on his face.

"That so?"

"Yes, and I'm not going to let you pull the shit you have been doing this past week anymore." I grabbed his jaw and pulled it to me, licking his bottom lip. "You're mine".


	10. Chapter 10

**CH 10: Just Breathe.**

I woke up to the phone ringing next to my head; it didn't bother Mac at all. I rubbed my eyes a little as I answered it, not looking at the i.d.

"-Lo?"

"Hey sweetie-I need you to help me with somethin' today- you up for it?" It was Walter, the only one who called me sweetie.

I sat up and looked around at my surroundings; I was in my living room, naked, next to Mac.

_Oh yeah, we didn't make it to the bedroom last night after he…murdered Ryan._

I brushed my messy lump of hair out of my face. "Course"

"Come on down to the Mesa and I'll even feed ya"

"Ok, I need to shower, give me 30 minutes"

"You seen Mac? He ain't answering his phone" I looked down at the sleeping body next to me, unsure of what to say, knowing Walter wasn't very happy about the two of us.

"Fuck, I need a smoke. I will be there in a bit" I said, dodging the question. He scoffed in my ear-he knew.

Showered and dressed I kissed Mac's head and locked the door behind me-he would probably sleep all day. When I got to the Mesa there was a huge moving van parked outside of the hotel; Devon was sitting on the back bumper watching Reggie draw pictures in the dirt she was sitting in. He has completely destroyed her. There were rope marks on her wrists and tract marks all over her arms, she was pale and looked extremely frail; it made me sad to look at her knowing it was her brother who was doing it to her.

Reggie looked up at me as I got out of the car, her eyes were glossy, and she looked like a child. Devon glared at me, like he was daring me to say something about her-I didn't, not out loud anyway.

"Hey Reg" I said squatting in front of her.

"Hai!" She was always happy to see me-maybe she was that happy to see anyone- It had to be hard to see her brother's body over her every day, violating her.

"You going on a ride, Reg?"

"Dev is taking me to the ocean- we're gunna play in the sand!"

_My fucking god_

"That's really great, Reg, you be sure to send us pictures ok?"

She nodded and went back to her dirt drawing. I stood up and headed toward the Mesa to find Walter; Devon watched me as I passed.

"You're such a good big brother, Dev." I said smirking at him.

Walter was waiting at the bar for me, sipping on some concoction he had made. He had a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast, and a mug of coffee sitting on the bar.

"Don't suppose it will break your heart to know he is leaving?" He gestured to the food. "Fer you"

"God no-he's a sick fuck, Walter"

He shrugged, he was never that interested in things his boys did as long as it didn't bring him trouble or make him lose money.

"SO you're ok with running the bar tonight?" I asked between bites.

"Mmhmm" He rubbed his butt and grimaced.

"Why'd she shoot you?" I kept asking him out of the blue, hoping he's slip up and tell me.

He finished his drink and winked at me "I'll pay ya fer your time."

…

I spent the rest of the day out in the heat helping Devon load up boxes, take down and load their bed, and keep an eye on Reg; she kept wandering, probably shocked at being outside. The canyons made the little town feel like a toaster over; they threw the heat around and baked everything. We took breaks to drink the constant flow of beers Walter was bringing us, but it wasn't really helping ease the heat. Devon would take breaks to play with Reg every now and then, but I was eager to get them packed so they could just leave; I was ready to stop having to do breakfast runs and watch Reggie slowly deteriorate. At just after 3pm I called Mac to let him know what I was doing- he didn't answer, I figured he was still sleeping off his high.

Finally at just after 7 the truck was filled and ready to go; Devon had allowed Reggie to give me a hug before he strapped her in the truck like an infant. He gave his father a hug and let him know he would keep in touch, walked over to me and gave me a half-asses 'thanks' then got in the cab and they were gone.

"Good fucking riddance" I muttered as the dust flew up behind the truck.

Walter looked like he was about to pass out, so I told him I would work the rest of the night for him; there weren't many people in the bar that night, so I wouldn't be working too hard. He thanked me and hobbled over to the hotel.

Only a few of the locals were in, and a couple of the whores; it would be an easy night- it would give Mac a chance to catch up on the sleep he needed anyway. Terra was there, rubbing up on some dingy old man with barely any hair. She smirked and rolled her eyes at me while the old man grabbed her ass. I called Mac again, just to see if he was awake, still no answer.

Terra was thoroughly trashed by 10, so I cut her off-she didn't need to pass out and be molested by the old fuck. She rolled her eyes at me again at the news, but stayed with me at the bar, slumped over with her head in the drink she'd spilled.

"SO, Terra" I thought it might be a good time to try to get the story of Walters' gun shot out of her.

"Hmm?" She lifted her head, her hair dripping with liquor. I walked around to meet her on the other side of the bar. I dabbed a rag through her hair to sop up some of the liquid, not that she even noticed at this point.

"Why'd you shoot Walter?" I figured straight forward was the way to go.

"Fucker let Devon screw his own sister!" She said-like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And? What's that got to do with you?"

"Dev got one in the arm too" She started giggling.

I watched her sway in her seat while the old man licked his lips at her.

"You shot Devon too?" I asked, smiling.

"Ya- We used to date, you know that?"

"No." the thought was revolting.

"I came here with him, Regina, and a few other people- He's a lousy fuck anyway"

"Devon?"

"Devon"

She brought her hand to her face, pinching different parts of it "I cant f-f-feeeeel it" she said laughing again.

"So you shot Walter and Devon because…" She shoved her finger on to my lips, shushing me.

"He let Mac kill them-he wanted to fuck his sister" She was looking at me, all her laughter gone now. She had tears in her eyes and she was grasping on to my arms tightly.

I knew Ryan wasn't the first guy Mac had killed, or girl for that matter, but hearing that someone else knew this and seeing the fear in Terra's eyes worried me- I remembered that Ryan was missing and I actually had no idea what Mac had done with him.

"Ok. It's ok." I rubbed her leg with my pinned down hand. "I'm going to get you home now, Ok?"

She nodded and released me, and then let her head slump on to the bar again.

I called the house and had Misty send someone out to pick her up, she was a mess. The old man watched her walk out, supported by another girl, and slammed his beer down, looking disappointed.

When last call came around, I had my hands full with everyone getting their drinks- I hadn't expected such a lively bunch on a weeknight. When everyone had cleared out, I looked around; the bar was as trashed as Terra was. There were broken bottles on the floor, the pool tables were soaked in booze, the bathroom has piss and vomit on the walls-I was going to get a bonus for this.

It took me a little over 2 hours to get the bar back to normal; I was definitely taking tomorrow off-well-today. It was almost 4:30am- when I climbed in to my car and headed back home; I called Mac again, seeing if he was awake yet, still nothing- at least one of us was getting some good sleep.

I pulled up to a completely dark house-I unlocked the front door and slowly fumbled around for the light switch.

"Mac?" I called as my fingers found the switch. I was blind for a second, but as my eyes accepted the light I found Mac where I had left him the day before, in front of the couch, curled up and naked.

"Thought you left" He said. He sounded hurt by the thought; close to tears.

"No. I called you; I was helping Reggie and Devon; are you okay?"

"No" He sounded extremely depressed; his voice was shaky. I walked over and crouched in front of him and stroked his hair, getting a better look at him.

He was crashing. Hard. He was visibly miserable; his dull eyes were staring at the wall while his fingers traced circles on the floor at his side.

"Mac, let me get you in bed" I went to grab his arm, but he yanked it out of my reach.

"Don't need yer help" he said weakly.

"Ok, well, I am helping you anyway, so stop being a stubborn ass and give me your arm" I said it like a mother scolding her child. He looked at me and sighed. It seemed like all of the blue light he held in his eyes had been replaced with a darkness.

I held out my hand for him to take-which he did after a moment. I lifted him to his feet and supported him on my shoulder and walked him down the hallway; I flopped him over on the bed and pulled a sheet over his sweaty body.

"The fuck were you doin' helping them?" He asked weakly

"They are moving-leaving town. Walter asked- I wasn't going to argue, if it gets Devon out of here, I am all for it." I was stroking his hair again, his eyes were closed, but he turned in to my touch like it comforted him.

"Are you hungry or anything?"

"Why did you come back?"

"Because I was done with work-where'd you want me to go?"

"No-" He swallowed hard "I mean after I left you in the canyons- why'd you come back?"

"Because I got nowhere else to go-and I kinda like ya" I added

"I don't have anything to give ya"

"Good thing I don't want anything"

I handed him the bottle of water I kept by the bed, his lips were cracked, he was clearly dehydrated. He drank it quickly and then laid his head on my lap.

"Are you done with this shit, Mac?" He nodded, bringing his face closer to my stomach.

He was so different when he wasn't on drugs- I knew that every major act of violence he'd ever done had been because he was high, so if he could stay off them, maybe we had a chance at getting out of this death trap of a town too.

"Do you remember what you did, Mac?"

"When?"

"Yesterday. To Ryan"

"Fucker slapped you" My eye still had a slight bruise from that slap. "I'm hungry" he whispered.

"I'll make you something" I brushed his hair off of his face one last time, kissed him and laid his head on a pillow.

I made him up a bunch of eggs, bacon, and hash browns-which he wolfed down quickly; I watched him eat, my stomach nervous about someone finding out about Ryan…it was only a matter of time. After he ate, he took me back to bed, he was never much for cuddling, but he held me close while we dozed off. I became blatantly aware that I would do anything for this man-it was a new and scary thought; that I would overlook drugs and murder just to be with him.

…

Walter showed up at my house the next morning, he was pissed about something and demanded to see Mac.

"You kill that kid?" His voice was calm but the look in his eyes was terrifying.

"He wa-" I started, but Walter held his hand up to silence me, his hard eyes on Mac.

"Ya-he fucking slapped her" Mac said.

It was always rather hard to watch Mac and Walter interact; Walter was so indifferent to him unless he was angry, then he was a force to be reckoned with-and Mac knew it. Mac always seemed to revert to more of a kid around Walter-like he was still seeking his affection and approval-which he never really got. Nothing about their relationship flowed easily, but I hoped that with Devon gone, Walter would ease up on Mac a little.

Walter walked over to me and grabbed my face, twisting it in to the light and looking at my eye.

"Thought that was your work" he muttered to Mac

"Walter- Ryan hit me then tried to rape me, Mac saved me" It couldn't hurt to play damsel in distress.

Walter kept his eyes on my face but spoke to Mac. "Sherriff from the next town over found his car- you best have covered your shit, boy."

"He ain't gunna be found" I looked at Mac who was trying his best to keep himself together; he was still riding out the effects of coming down.

Walter rubbed his thumb over my eye softly and then gave me a smile. "You take the day off, sweetie" He said, his voice kind again. He gave one last look at Mac then slammed the door behind him.

"Oh fuck, Mac! Are they going to find anything?" I was panicking now

"No, ain't nothing to find" He pulled me over and kissed me for the first time in a while. "Don't worry about it"

I was mostly worried about who would be looking for Ryan-I knew his father all too well- he was vicious, like a Rottweiler- if he wanted to bring something, or someone down, he would. I let it go though, trusting Mac that he had taken care of it-we'd deal with things as they came.

It was finally cooler today; the sky was completely covered with grey clouds and it looked like it might rain again. Mac and I stayed inside all day, watching movies. He was better after he ate, but he still had an air of depression about him. There wasn't much I could do for him; we just had to wait it out-

…

The next evening I was back on at the Mesa, Mac was a whole lot better after his r&r days, so he came down to meet up with the boys while I worked. The sheriff from the next town, where Ryan's car was found, was sitting in a corner chatting with Mike and Harley, our local officers. I kept my head down and avoided looking at them as much as I could, my stomach was in knots again and I felt nauseous. The other sheriff wasn't there long, he had a beer and a chat with our boys, then left. Walter had stayed behind, clearly curious about what was up.

"Man, that guy is a dick" Harley said walking up to me at the bar

"Oh ya? What's he here for?"

"Found a car" He took a long drink "A guy is missing. Ryan Fields. He wanted to pass out fliers in the town"

"Ryan? He is missing?" I decided to go with my gut and play up innocence.

"Ya. You knew 'im?"

"He is my ex. He came by to talk, but I told him to leave…and he did" I added lamely

_Why the fuck did you say anything?_

"Uh hu…so, he just…left?" Mike asked stepping up to talk to me, he was looking at Mac.

"Well, I went to talk to him, he attacked me, hit me, and Mac beat him up- but we told him to leave, which he did, and Mac went home with me"

It was mostly the truth. Mac was looking over at me now, curious about my discussion with the officers.

"I might have you come down to the station to talk, Kate, just to clear things up with the other sheriff, you know"

"Anything you need"

_Fuck, fuck, fuck_

He smiled and they left, eying Mac again.

Predictably Mac came up and leaned in to ask what the fuck that was about.

"They're looking for Ryan-I told him the truth, mostly…he hit me, then left-we had nothing to do with him after that" I sounded more confident than I felt.

He kissed me, looked at Walter, and then walked back over to his game.

Walter had annoyance and an 'I told you so' look on his face.

"You need to ease up on him" I said to Walter, breaking his glare on his son.

"The boy's a fucking screw up"

"No-he isn't. He's fucked up, but he is doing his best" I said pointedly. He turned to me and rested his elbow on the bar.

"You two…together now eh?"

"In a matter of speaking"

"I don't like you with him"

"You don't have to- I do." I turned from him to let him know I was done talking about it.

…

"You're back!" Terra said excitedly "I haven't seen you in ages" She had emerged from a corner with somebody

"I saw you the other night, were you really that trashed?"

She furrowed her brow in thought. "I don't remember" She laughed at herself.

"I'm thinking of getting outta here. Vegassssssss baby" She said doing spirit fingers.

"You'd kill it there, you sexy thing" I winked at her

"Some of the girls are thinking about pooling our money and heading out there together. It would be a great opportunity!"

"What about Misty? She okay with her girls leaving?"

"Fuck, she's the one who said we should pool our money together and leave" she giggled

I looked at mac while Terra talked about the move- he was in a wife beater so his shoulders were showing- they were fucking delectable, they made me weak whenever I saw them. Despite the scars and scabs on them, his arms were sexy as well; they flexed as he bent over the table and lined up his shot. God I was wet just watching him play pool.

"…Pregnant" Terra said. Her words shook me out of my fantasy.

"Huh? Who's pregnant?"

"I said maybe _YOU _are- you're rubbing your stomach again"

I looked down, surprised to see my hand resting on my belly.

"Maybe that's why your stomach has been 'sour' lately. You on birth control?"

"Of course, Terra- and no, that isn't possible"

"No? ok-Just sayin'" she raised her eyebrows, looked at my stomach again, then slid off the chair vanishing in the crowd.

I looked over at Mac; his face was mirroring the worry on mine. My mouth was dry and I couldn't breathe. He dropped his pool cue and started toward me before everything went black.

|| It may be a while before I get the next chapter up- I have a couple of different things I want to do-so I may write two different versions-I need to see which one feels right. Thanks for reading! ||


	11. Chapter 11

**CH 11: Negative**

I sat on the bathroom counter holding the little stick that would either ease my mind or cause me to break down completely; I had always had an uneven cycle, so going over when my last period was was a moot point.

"WELL?" Terra was shouting from the other side of the door. I had told her, and her alone that I was worried and that I wanted to take a test. She had gone down and gotten me one and brought it back to my house while Mac was out. He was back to his old self, and back to working at the garage so he was gone during the days.

"The timer hasn't gone off yet" My voice was shaky and my nerves were shot. I was almost positive that it was all due to stress and stuff-that was how my body worked. I had been on birth control since I was 13 because my period was so irregular-still the thought had freaked me out enough to make me pass out in front of half the town.

"Can I just come in?"

"No. I want to see it first"

"Come on" there was a bang on her side of the door and then a scratching as she let her body fall to the floor.

My phone chimed letting me know the allotted time was up; I turned off the tone and stared at the back of the stick, too chicken shit to look at the results.

"WELL?"

"Hold your fucking horses! I am about to have a fucking heart attack here!"

"I'll look at it for you-open up" there was thumping as she helped herself up to a standing position. She knocked on the door until I finally set the pee stick down and opened the door. She poked her head in and looked around.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing-"She walked over and picked up the stick while I watched her from the doorway; my hands were in fists and I was having trouble catching my breath. She looked at the stick, then at me, then back at the stick, and back at me again.

"TERRA!" I shouted

She smiled and then shook it at me "Negative, Beauty"

"OH my fucking god!" I let out a breath.

"What the fuck would you have done?" she muttered

I didn't even know what to say- I just stood there shaking my head; my eyes wide with relief. I had never been so scared in my life-the idea of having a baby, in this shit town, with _Mac _was about the most horrifying idea I could muster.

"God, I have to go down to see him- he knows something is up"

She handed me the stick and smiled again.

"I have to shop for the house anyway-see you tonight?"

"Yeah." She turned and started walking out. "Terra!" I called. I ran up and hugged her tight.

"Thank you-seriously, I couldn't have done this on my own"

"Of course, Beauty"

…

I parked in the desolate parking lot of the garage Mac and Mark worked- there was literally nothing but dirt and a few weeds. I twisted the stick around in my hand as Mac walked over to meet me at the car.

"You gunna tell me what yer freakin' out 'bout now?" I stared at him, he was all greasy and sweaty and his coveralls were tied around his waist so his shoulders were showing from under his ratty wife beater, I wanted to pull him in the car and fuck his brains out- we hadn't had sex in several days because of his coming down, my fainting spell, and then my stress over getting a pee stick and finding out if I had a reason for my heart palpitations. His eyes fell to my hand and what I was holding. His face fell and he looked confused.

"S'that?"

"Pregnancy test" I said flipping it around in my fingers; my eyes locked on his.

He stepped back from the car, opening my door while he did. He didn't say anything but stared at me like I was poisonous.

"It's negative" I said before he started freaking out. "Nothing to worry about"

He blew out a breath of air and brought his hand to his hair to push it out of his face; he drew a grease mark along his forehead that made my stomach clench.

"What the fuck-I thought you were on birth control or some shit" he snapped suddenly

"Well, I am, but shit happens, Mac; relax" I don't know what I was expecting.

He shook his head at me; I could see all of his thoughts flashing through his eyes, and by the way he kept backing away from me, putting as much distance between us, I could tell that he didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Ok-well I am going to go" I felt rather pissed at his reaction; I thought we were at a better point in the 'relationship' that I could at least tell him stuff. "I'll see you later" I pulled the car door shut and sped away from the awkwardness that was spinning around the whole incident.

The town seemed a little more cozy to me now that Devon was gone-he made everything feel off when he was around; now if I could get mac to get over his little fit, things would be pretty great. I made myself lunch and helped Walter get the bar stocked for the night; I kept smirking to myself now that I knew what the gun shot was from-I loved the guy, but Terra was right; it was fucking sick that he allowed Devon to hold and fuck his sister.

The day was a blur-people came in and ordered, and left, but I didn't really notice anyone-until the sheriff showed up.

"I thought you were gunna come on down to the station" he said, eyeing my harshly.

_Fuck!_ I hadn't really thought about it because of how riled up things had been; but everything came crashing back down on me.

"Right! I had a couple of things come up, I forgot" I said lamely

"Got time now?" He suggested.

I looked at Walter, he sort of nodded and grimaced at the same time-I took it as a 'yes'.

"Sure thing, Sheriff" I grabbed my bag and followed him back out in to the blistering heat. I felt like I was under interrogation already with how the sun was beating down on me. This was exactly what I needed to end the week.

…

By the time I got back to the Mesa, there were people arriving to get their nightly drinks; Mac's truck was there along with several of his friends' rigs.

The night was sticky, it needed to rain again.

I walked up to the bar with my head high, choosing to ignore Mac; I wanted to wait for him to come to me; a sign that he was over his issue. Walter was talking Terra-which was extremely odd, the typically avoided each other like the plague. I watched them while I put my bag away and found a clean shot glass-I deserved it.

Terra and Walter were actually laughing together; it was like witnessing a dog ride a bike-it was just unnatural.

"You just gunna ignore me?" Mac's voice inquired suddenly

"Depends-you over it?" I said distractedly, my eye still on Terra and Walter

"Over what?" he belted angrily

I looked at him finally, his loud voice rattling me. I managed a breath before word vomit spewed out "It isn't like I did it on purpose, Mac. Jesus Christ, shit happens and I can't control everything. You acted like I was a snake when I told you. If you want us to just be fuck buddies and leave all the communication out of it, fine, I can do that, but don't keep coming up to me and trying to bate me in to conversation." I ranted to him

He narrowed his eyes and he looked like I'd slapped him. "whatever." he walked away mumbling.

"WALTER!" I shouted over the music. He turned with a ghost of a smile still on his lips.

"Yessa?" he asked walking over to me.

"I'm taking some time off, ok? I just need a break"

He looked at Mac, then back at me. "Alright."

I grabbed my bag and ran out of the bar-I could feel that damned anger boiling inside my chest again-why were things so fucking difficult, all I wanted was simple. I sat in my car for a second, not knowing where I would go, but wanting to get out of this town for a while. I started up my car and cranked up the music, letting it fill my ears and occupy my mind.

I drove for a little over 2 hours, in no particular direction, with no destination. I ended up near a small lake in the middle of nowhere, with no one around. The sun was setting so I climbed on to the hood of my car and watched the colors fade in to blackness. I had nothing and everything in my mind-it was like a tornado of emptiness.

When I realized that I was sitting in pure darkness, I decided to turn on my headlights so they shone on the small lake. I peeled my sweaty clothes off and waded in to the cool water. It wasn't very deep at all; it only went up to my thighs. I dunked my head under and listened to the sounds of silence.

I twirled around underneath the glassy water, letting it wash the sweat and grime off of my naked body before I poked my head out again. I floated on my back, letting my hair glide around, it was like flying. I thought about everything that had happened, focusing on the positives. I had to get a handle on this anger; I hated how it made me feel.

_Mac is done with the drugs-I think-at least he is detoxed._

_I am NOT pregnant._

_I have job and a home._

_I actually have friends who accep…_

My hand grazed over something odd beneath the water. I took a handful of the cloth that was grazing my fingertips and brought it out of the water. I knew what it was before I really even saw the dark blue shirt. I pulled it up higher and found the rotting, bloated flesh of Ryan barely contained by his clothes. His eyes were white and ghostly, and his jaw was missing. Fish had clearly been eating at him and his clothes.

"Oh god" I moaned, my stomach churning.

I pushed the body back under the water and flung myself toward the shore, desperate to get the sight and smell of his decomposing body away from me.

The realization that I was bathing myself in water with a corpse made my stomach release its contents all over the rocky ground I was standing on. I vomited over and over, letting my body dispel all of the disgusting thoughts and feelings I had bottled up.

"Jesus Christ" I said weakly, wiping my mouth. My stomach hurt and my throat was raw, but my head felt clearer. I picked up my clothes and shoved them back on my body, focusing on each individual task. Shirt:buttons:underwear:shorts:zipper:button:flipf lops:right:left:

I pulled my sopping hair up into a knot at the back of my head and looked back on the lake. It was eerie now; it didn't look inviting at all anymore. The headlights were bouncing off the small ripples on the shore and then they faded into black where I couldn't see anything.

_This is what Mac did with Ryan; dumped him in a lake? _

Even with how Ryan treated me I was having a hard time with the watery grave he was now in; however, I still had the thought of how Mac had protected me in the back of my mind, how could I write that off?

As I walked back over to my car I could hear the familiar little jingle of my cell phone ringing from the passenger's seat.

"Fuck off" I mumbled pushing the button to silence it.

I sat in my car letting the warm air of the night dry me off while I listened to music; I didn't want to go back quite yet; I still had to think a few things through.

Mac was obviously the first thing I had to figure out; he was like a yoyo, so I had to stop and figure out if there were any patterns to his behavior-and I had to reign in my anger and stop letting it dictate my every conversation. I leaned my seat back and concentrated on the rhythm of the music while I pondered Mac and I.

I liked when he was rough-but only in bed, other than that I wanted to know that he would be there for me-

_What a fucking pansy- you know he isn't like that, just accept it._

…

Mac slapped me hard across the face before grabbing my hair roughly and bringing my lips to his. The kiss was rough, I would bruise for sure. He was pulling my hair still, knotting it in his fist while his other hand roamed my body. His calloused hands woke an animal feeling in me, I had to have him; keep him forever. I found my strength and pushed him onto the ground hard, then mounted him. I pressed my body to his and ground in to it. I could feel his erection which made me wet. As I kissed him roughly, I felt around to my back pocket where my knife was. I slipped it out from my back pocket and felt the warmth from my body heat radiating off of the sharp metal. I pulled my face away from his and held the small knife to his throat; I drew little drops of blood with the edge of my blade and he moaned. Then I was shoving it in his throat, blood was squirting everywhere. I sawed the blade through his flesh until I reached his bone. I drug the blade across the bone and it made a high pitched shriek that went through me. Then his head was detached from his body; he blinked at me, a question in his eyes. I held his head up by the hair and looked into his blue eyes. He frowned at me. I stuck my tongue out and licked the blood off of his cheek. Then I was home, his body, headless, was sitting on my couch with its arms crossed while I nailed his head up on my wall over my TV.

"I look nice here" it whispered as I stepped back to admire my work.

"You're mine, Mac. All of you, every sick piece"

"That's right baby"

…

My eyes shot open. I was still in my car, sweating profusely. The sun was up and there were vultures all around the edge of the lake.

"Oh fuck" I laughed at the absurdity of my dream "What the fuck was that?" I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stretched my sore body. My ass was numb, so when I went to stand up I shook uncontrollably for a second while it tingled back to life.

I walked over to see what the vultures were doing; there were at least 40 of them surrounding something on the shore. As I walked up, they squawked at me but flew off, leaving me a nice view of Ryan's body, bloody and mangled. He had washed ashore just enough for the scavengers to get ahold of him.

I stared at his gruesome body, not really feeling anything but a desire to get back to Mac. My dream had made me realize that the fucked up relationship we had was nothing short of perfect for two fucked up people. I would never find anyone who understood me like he did, and he would never find anyone who accepted him like I did; we were a match, we belonged to each other. This was all I was really looking for, just some confirmation that what I was feeling wasn't disturbing as shit.

I climbed back in my car, letting the vultures take their prey once more. I had 7 missed calls; Mac's name appeared over and over on my caller ID

I listened to his messages and laughed.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Kate, You fucking bitch!"

Next message

"Where are you, you can't just fucking take off"

Next message

"Fuuuuuck!"

Next message

"You better call me back- fucking cunt"

Next message

"…Kate. I didn't mean- Can you just- God you make me so fucking MAD!"

Next message

"Walter is worried about you"

Next message

"*sigh*"

I threw my phone back on the seat and started my drive back.

I actually felt a lot better. He cared, in his own way; I knew I wanted him, no matter what, I was done with this yoyo shit; done with the mood swings; done with doubting how things were between us; done with the games.

It was going to be another scorcher today, it was barely 9am and already the heat was sticking to me. Half way home I peeled off my shirt and drove the rest of the way in my bra and shorts; this no air conditioning shit had to go. The damned thing had broken the day after I'd purchased the car. Mac kept telling me to bring it in so he could fix it, but I never drove far so it wasn't ever really a problem, but right now I was about ready to scream I was so uncomfortable.

I saw the sign for the turn off to the small town (10 miles) and turned without pressing the breaks; my tires tossed up gravel from the side of the road as I fishtailed my was on to the pothole riddled road home.

I decided to skip going home and just go directly to Mac's; just to get things out and in the clear. I pulled up to his house, but his beat up red truck was gone. He could be out in the cave cooking, but I thought I'd check the Mesa first so I could avoid the drive if I could.

The driveway was completely deserted when I pulled in.

_Fuck-I really don't want to drive out to the canyon caves._

"Better?"

I jumped at the sound of Walter's voice beside my car.

"Woah, fuck!" I grabbed my chest and then realized I was still only in my bra. I covered myself as best I could with my arms. "yeah. Where's Mac?"

"Working." "At the garage" he added after I stared at him unsure of which job.

"Thanks" I swung my car around and sped off toward the dilapidated shack of a garage he and Mark worked in.

I slammed on my breaks, my tires skidding me to a stop in the small parking lot. I could see Mac pull himself out from underneath a piece of shit van in the dock. He was wearing baggy pants with a thousand holes in them and a greasy white t-shirt. He glared at me hard as he stood up and walked out to meet me. His eyes glazed over my shirtless body. I ran over to him and jumped up into his arms and pulled his mouth to mine kissing him as hard as I could. He grunted as I took away his breath. His arms held me tightly as I worked his mouth roughly.

When we finally separated he looked at me seriously.

"What the fuck" He demanded.

"Enough of this, Mac. I get it." I pressed my lips back to his and ran my fingers through is sticky hair.

I wrapped my legs around him and his hands moved to my ass to support my new position. We were both breathing hard when we broke apart again.

"Where's your shirt" he said looking at my cleavage.

"Car" I said simply batting my eyelashes at him.

"-The fuck did you go" he demanded still staring at my boobs.

"On a drive. I went out to the lake"

He lifted his eyes to meet mine finally. I couldn't tell what he was feeling-worry? Suspicion?

I shook my head, letting him know silently that I saw and that it didn't matter to me. I had made sure that he had an iron clad alibi for the sheriff, so we wouldn't have to worry about it coming back to him; and the vultures would get rid of the rest of the evidence soon enough anyway.

His blue eyes were on fire while he took in what I was relaying to him.

"You ready to come home?" he asked, resting his forehead on mine.

"I am home. Right here."


	12. Chapter 12

**CH 12: Ground Rules**

**Sorry for the wait…to those who care; my friend was in an accident-this chapter is inspired by that a bit.**

"Give me a fuckin' break, Mac, I have to go" I was throwing piles of clothes into a small suitcase while he sat on the bed glaring at me.

One of my oldest friends had been in a car accident and was in a coma; her husband had called to let me know about it and asked that I come back home if I could. Fifteen minutes later I had my suitcase open on the bed packed with my essentials and some clothes while Mac radiated attitude over the fact that I was leaving.

"She ain't even gunna know yer there" he ranted as I walked back and for the between my dresser and the bed. I stopped to glare at him; I wanted to yell at him for his dick comments, but I had made an agreement with myself to choose my battles more carefully-I settled for a scoff and an eye roll.

I got the call at around 9am, Mac and I were still in bed fooling around before I got up to get some food for my house. Breanne's husband Joe sounded panicked and exhausted as he told me what had happened. "I'll be there by tomorrow, Ok?" Mac hadn't moved from the bed, still naked, he had his arms back behind his head while he watched me fly around the room. We had been together every moment we could since we'd made up; everyone in town had noticed that things were different between us; that we were more in tune with each other, though no one knew why. I was the only one who knew the truth about Ryan, I'd lied to the police, and I'd decided to accept him despite his flaws. Things were running smoothly for us.

"Ok, I will be back in a few days- FUCK! I forgot to ask Walter" I rummaged around for my phone. Mac continued to glare while I punched in Walter's number.

"Lo?"

"Walter, Hey, It's Kate; I had an emergency come up and I have to leave town for a few days-that ok?"

"Sure honey, I'll manage"

"Thanks" I threw the phone on the bed and grabbed my suitcase and keys and started for the front door.

"Well bye then" Mac shouted from the room.

I stopped and rolled my eyes again; like I was going to leave without giving him a proper goodbye.

"I'll be right back" I shouted back. I tossed my stuff in the back seat and started the engine to give the AC a chance to get going; Mac had gotten it to work like a champ. When I walked back in from the heat I found Mac standing in the living room, still naked, holding my phone.

"Might need this" he said

"Thanks" I said walking over to him. I loved when he was naked, he despite the scars and scabs across his body, he looked delicious. I ran my hands up his chest and took hold of his shoulders while he picked me up to meet his face. "I'll be home soon, just stay out of trouble"

He raised his eyebrows at me then slammed his mouth to mine. I let myself enjoy it for a minute before the thought of Breanne popped back into my head. I pulled back and watched him slowly open his eyes to look at me. He still looked so damn grumpy; he really was like a child sometimes.

I kissed him again quickly then unwrapped myself from his body. I grabbed a large bottle of water and a bag of trail mix for the trip; I didn't want to have to stop other than pee breaks. I held my hand on the knob and gave him one last look, which he returned with a glare.

"I can't believe you're this pissed at me right now"

"Yer always fuckin' leavin'"

"Work, Mac…I have to work. This is completely different. I'll see you." I shut the door and climbed in my icy cool car and set off back to Austin; Breanne and Ryan's father were my only reoccurring thoughts as I got closer and closer to my old life.

As it got darker, my mind slowly let thoughts go and I became more hypnotized by the emptiness of the road; the stars were so bright out away from any civilization, it looked like I was in space, completely alone. It wasn't until a loud honking snapped me out of my daze that I realized that I was on the wrong side of the road and going 100.

"Fuck!" I cursed myself loudly "That's all you need" My heart rate came back down while I chugged some water. I was beginning to see lights from some towns now, which meant I had to get on the main highway to take me in to Austin; my stomach was back to being nervous about seeing everyone again after how I'd treated them, but maybe I could get away with not seeing most of them, they were never really friends anyway. As for Ryan's father, he probably wouldn't even know I was in town.

My mind wandered more as I followed the highway in to my old city; it was weird how foreign this place felt now, it definitely wasn't home anymore. I realized how badly I wanted to be back in Cainville, with Terra and Mac, and my own little place, where everyone knew to leave me alone. I would see how Breanne was doing, see a few folks and be out of here again as soon as I could.

Breanne had woken up the day after I got there, so I got to spend some time with her, she looked like she was going to make a full recovery with a lot of physical therapy; Joe was there for her, along with all of our old friends; it was nice to see some of them, but I really was counting down the time when it would be considered ok to leave. I pushed my visit for four days before I used work as an excuse to get the hell out of there.

I hadn't talked to Mac the entire time I was gone; I had left him a message the day after I got there, but he never called me back so I just let it go; he was probably cooking or working in the garage. Terra had called a couple of times; she had said she hadn't seen Mac much, but that someone who had left had come back to town, someone named Rachel who Terra hated.

I was about an hour outside of Cainville and it was almost 10 pm, the Mesa would be hopping with life, especially since it was Saturday. I skipped going home and headed straight for the Mesa for a drink. As I had expected the dusty parking lot was completely packed; both Mac and terra's cars were there.

I cut the engine and felt the heat immediately seep through the cracks in my little piece of shit vehicle; god this heat was disgusting. I climbed out and straightened my shirt and shorts, fixed my hair in to a high knot on my head, crammed a piece of gum in my mouth and walked toward the wailing music. There was a couple out against the side of the Mesa but I couldn't tell who it was, looked like they were dealing with the heat far better than I was at the moment.

I swung the screechy old door open and felt the slight touch of air conditioning hit my body. The first thing I saw was Walter and Terra chatting it up at the bar; Walter looked up and smiled when he saw me.

"There she is!" he called over the music. Terra ran up and hugged me; she was clearly smashed.

"Hey Beauty! We missed ya"

"Hey, I'm glad to be back. You seen Mac?" I gave the place a once over but didn't see him in any of his usual spots, it wasn't like the place was that big anyway.

"Oh, I think he's..." She was avoiding my gaze.

"The fuck did he do?"

"Well Rachel is back in town-she was always chasing him, she left for Vegas but she got back day before yesterday." She looked disgusted

"So what's she back for?"

"I guess she wasn't that successful there-fucking ugly skank"

"Mac been with her?"

"I honestly don't know for sure"

My stomach had knots again and I felt sick; something was off. Then I remembered the couple out on the side of the Mesa, the guy had his back to me, blocking the view of whoever was on their knees in front of him. I thought I would recognize his broad shoulders, but they had picked a pretty dark spot.

"Mother fucker" I spat as I stomped out to go check it out.

"WHAT!" Terra called after me.

I slammed the door open and walked around to where they had been but they were gone. I looked around a bit before seeing movement inside Mac's truck. I walked over quietly, wanting to see if he was doing what I thought he was doing. The engine was on and I could hear some music playing; I walked up to the window, expecting the worst.

"Jesus" I muttered. Mac was handing her a small bit of his meth and she was thanking him by rubbing her hand all over his crotch. Fuming, I pulled open the door. She looked back over her shoulder in confusion, and a look of defiance washed over Mac's face. "You fucker" I said simply before I grabbed 'Rachel's' hair and drug her out of the truck.

"Shit" Mac grunted after us.

I threw her on the ground so I could get a better look at her; she looked totally cracked out, complete with makeup smeared all over her face; she had on a small skirt that was slutty even for a whore and a ripped up shirt that looked like it wouldn't fit a six year old. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" she screamed at me, tears in her eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing with her, Mac" I asked as he walked around the truck to meet us.

"She wanted some shit" he shrugged.

"Was that you over here getting blown?" I demanded

His face dropped for a second, but his eyes snapped back to Rachel who had gotten up and started to charge at me; I moved aside and watched her hit the side of the truck and fall back down. "Real winner you found, Mac"

"I knew her from a while back"

"Yeah, I have heard about her. Was. That. You. Getting. Blown over there?" I asked slowly

Rachel was picking herself back up again, but she was laughing this time. "Yeah, that was him. He came all over my face and then I sucked him dry" She sounded so proud but she didn't try to come over and attack me again.

I kept my eyes on Mac while he stood there with a blank expression. I balled my fist up and punched him in the face as hard as I could, which made him stumble backwards.

"Kate!" Terra cried.

"You stay the fuck away from me Mac. You don't call me, you don't touch me, you don't order from me while I'm working" Thoughts of finding Ryan with another girl swirled around inside my head and I felt tears coming. Mac got his balance back and brought his hand up to slap me but Walter slammed his baseball bat down on the porch railing with a loud thud, and Mac stopped in his tracks. I looked him in the eye, daring him to act.

"I fucking MEAN it Mac." I said. I turned around and got back in my car; this actually hurt more than Ryan and it was only a blow job as far as I knew.

When I got back home I pulled out all my clothes and stuffed them into the laundry, grabbed out all my bathroom things, brought them into the bathroom and sat on the side of the bathtub until my legs fell asleep. I had no idea what to do; I knew Mac, I knew he wasn't the most standup guy, but what the fuck was this all about. I wished I had punched him again before Walter showed up but I was probably going to pay for that enough already.

"Fuck."

I ended the night with a shower and tea, curled up on the couch watching Evil Dead; I wanted to see someone who was acting out the violence I was feeling. When I see that Rachel girl again things are going to be ugly. "It isn't like she knew though" I reasoned with myself. "Maybe she did…"

There was a pounding on my door and I could hear Mac bellowing from the other side.

"Come out here, Kate. You fucking hit me" he spat. More pounding.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I had to laugh at this, he really had some nerve.

I swung the door open. "I told you to leave me alone" I said as calmly as I could.

"Why'd you fucking hit me!" he yelled

"You're fucking a whore" I replied coolly

"She didn't have any money—"

Now I was pissed again; I stepped out the door and got in to his face "SO YOU LET HER FUCKING BLOW YOU AND DO GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE WITH HER DISGUSTING, DISEASE RIDDEN BODY!?"

He looked like I hit him again.

"I will tell you thing again, Mac. Do not talk to me. Stay away from me. You and I have nothing now, so feel free to do whatever you want as long as it doesn't include me" I stepped back inside and slammed the door shut in his face.

I turned the TV off and climbed in to bed, shaking. Was this really something I'd have to accept as part of being with him, that he would accept sexual favors instead of money?

It was like the past few weeks hadn't happened, like he'd taken us back to ground zero, and with one of the worst whores I had ever seen at that.

I heard my cell chime the text message ring so I grabbed it up and glared at Mac's name.

"Don't fucking leave again" was all it said. I couldn't tell if it was a threat or his way of saying he missed me.

"You just don't get what 'leave me alone means' do you?" I sent back

"I ain't gunna leave you alone"

"Then I guess we need to set up some ground rules, cause if you get too close to me I will hit you again"

I threw the phone against the wall and covered my head in my sheet and pillow; I heard the phone chime again but I ignored it and let myself drift off to sleep.

**next chapter will have a little more to it.**


	13. Chapter 13

**CH 13: Back to the basics**

I woke up with my sheets sticking to my body; the air was stagnant and musty and I didn't hear the sound of my fan or the air conditioning.

"Fuck" I groaned rolling over- kicking the wet sheets off me. I pulled myself out of bed and stood there for a second not sure of what to do-of what had happened; I always paid my bills, so there had to be an outage or something. "Fuck" I repeated.

I took a shower to cool down and clean off the nasty feeling my hot house had given me; when I was done I dressed in a tank top and underwear, unable to fathom putting on anything more than that. I had originally planned on going out to hike today-to get away from the shit, but waking up to the heat I would experience outside turned me off on the idea. Instead I lay on my couch with a hand-held fan I had gotten for my car before Mac had fixed the AC.

After a while I got irritated at the scratchy feeling of my couch so I went to get some ice-only to find that my fridge was warm and held nothing but warm food and water from the melted ice.

"What the fuck!" I hadn't thought to check my fridge earlier, but now that I did I was more irritated. I picked up the phone next to my couch to call my electric company, deciding not to ride out the power outage-

"Your boyfriend called early this morning-said you were moving right away and to shut it off" the woman explained.

"Are you kidding me? How the fuck could he have done that, he doesn't have my information"

"well Ma'am, he answered all of the questions…I'm assuming this is incorrect"

"You're goddamn right this isn't fucking correct! Jesus Christ, turn it back on!"

"Well Ma'am, we are booked for today but we can get someone out to you tomorrow"

"What-How can you turn it off the same fucking day and not- FUCK!" I hung up the phone and sat fuming on my couch.

_Mac, you son of a bitch_

I stomped in to my room after deliberating for a few minutes, and pulled on some shorts, grabbed my bag and walked out to my car- I was going to find that dirty fucker and cut his nuts off.

5 minutes later I slammed the door of the Mesa open, startling Walter and a few customers.

"Where the fuck is he, Walter"

"Now, honey, calm down-you don't want to be-"

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE, WALTER!"

He looked at me for a moment, then apparently deciding to let me handle whatever tiff I had with him, he slowly said

"He's workin'- his other job" He eyed his customers then looked at me again.

I was back out in my car and flying down the road on the way to his cave, fuming over his audacity. I had never really been inside his cave-just passed it, or dropped him off from time-to-time. He never wanted me to go in, but today I could give a fuck what he wanted.

I slid my car to a halt at the entrance of the cave, next to his beat up, red truck. I contemplated slashing his tires for a moment, but I would wait to see what he had to say for himself.

"MAC!" I screamed down the cave, knowing it would ricochet off so he could hear me. "YOU DIRTY FUCKING BASTARD- I AM GOING TO CUT YOUR BALLS OFF!"

I didnt hear any response, but I knew he was in there so I tripped and stumbled my way toward the light.

When I got inside, I looked around, but I didn't see him. There were gas masks, tables with chemicals and utensils, chains, and several bricks of the meth he had made and packaged.

"Mac, I know you are here, you fuck" I said a little more calmly. "Why the fuck would you do that? You are the one who fucked that girl, YOU are the one who ruined everything- what, I'm just supposed to take it? You fucker, If you want to play dirty, I will fucking play dirt-"

I saw stars and felt a horrible pain, and then blackness.

When I came to I had a horrible ringing in my left ear, accompanied with pain like I hadn't experienced in a while, and my eyes were watering. I moved my hand to rub my head and push my hair out of my eyes, but I became aware of the thick, scratchy rope that held my wrists together over my head. I followed the line of rope and found that I was securely tied to a pole sticking out of the ground. I was on the dirty, cum stained mattress I had seen when I first walked in, and I was staring up at a bunch of chains that were holding the gas masks and some old, ratty clothing.

I moved my head around, looking for Mac, ready to find some way to slit his throat, but he wasn't there. I wiggled my body and found that my legs were strapped down as well-tightly. I was sprawled out on the mattress, completely vulnerable.

"MAC!" I screamed, ignoring the pain in my head that increased with my words.

He sauntered from the darkness a moment later, dressed in camo overalls and wearing a gas mask that made his hair jut out at odd angles-it would have been comical if I hadn't been so angry.

"What the fuck is this, Mac" I tried to stay calm, to not show the worry I felt in my gut.

He didn't say anything, but shook his head slowly-staring at me.

I wiggled against my restraints again trying to get them to loosen, but he had tied them really tight-I was fucked.

He walked over to me and cocked his head, showing me a vein in his neck that was sticking out. He stepped over my body and straddled me, still looking down at me. He bent down so that our faces were inches apart- I could see his blue eyes glaring through the masks eye holes.

"Mac, seriously, let me go you fuck." I growled with as much menace as I could muster. I was scared, and yet something about how he was towering over me was making me want him too. Again he shook his head slowly.

He pulled the mask up over his face, allowing me to see his wild eyes. He stood back up, not taking his eyes off of me, and started unzipping the overalls and pulling them off his shoulders. Once they were open enough to let me clearly see his erection, he kicked my legs open more; bruising the inside of my thighs- I winced but didn't give him the satisfaction of a noise. He was licking his lips now, running his pink tongue along his chapped bottom lip that I used to suck and bite on. He knelt down between my legs and grabbed my underwear and pulled them up from my body, then pulled out his knife-the lights in the cave reflecting off if the blade. I felt the cold metal graze my skin and then I felt the fabric of my underwear fall away. I watched him, never taking my eyes off of his face. He was biting his lip now, chewing on it- and he had a little smirk playing on his mouth.

Once he cut away my underwear, he threw them to the side to meet my discarded shorts. I was lying on this disgusting 'bed' with only a tank top on.

"Mac-" I started, but he shook his head again and brought the blade up to my lips.

I stared at him, unsure of what he would do-how mad he really was.

He slid the knife along the strap of my shirt, cutting it, and then he ripped it the rest of the way off so I was completely naked.

He brought his mouth down to my collar bone, grazing it with his black teeth. I sucked in a breath, my body responding naturally to him. He moved his mouth up to my neck, nipping and biting at my skin while I lay perfectly still, gauging his mood. He ran his tongue up my neck sending shivers down my spine, and I cursed myself for reacting to him like I was.

His tongue reached my ear and he took it in his mouth, his hot breath made me clench my hands-desperate to stay in control of myself. I closed my eyes, to try to focus on how angry I was, how much he made me want to castrate him.

He was breathing heavily in my ear while a hand trailed my body, roaming over my curves. His calloused hands were surprisingly soft- goosebumps erupted on my skin and I squeezed my eyes closed tighter. His fingers reached my clit, causing me to take a sharp breath in. I could hear him chuckle lightly which didn't do anything but make me wetter.

His fingers circled my clit and my hips respond without my consent, making me angrier at myself. Then he took his face from my ear, blowing on my skin as he moved down my body to meet his fingers.

I gritted my teeth and pulled against the restraints roughly, trying desperately to get a knee or something free so I could inflict damage. His warm breath was now on my belly button while his fingers traced my entrance.

"Mac." I heard myself moan before I could stop it.

He stopped for a moment and I opened my eyes in time to see him look at me before returning to his teasing. My body was on fire- I wanted him badly but I wanted to hurt him too.

His mouth finally reached where his fingers were, and I slammed my eyes shut again. I listened while he stuck his wet fingers in his mouth and suck off my arousal.

He still hadn't said anything.

I refused to open my eyes, trying desperately to imagine someone who I hated or feared ravaging me, but Mac's face kept swimming back in front.

He licked my inner thigh all the way up to my clit, circled it several times and them moved back down to my thighs, biting and sucking.

I snapped out of his spell long enough to start bucking my hips, fighting to get him off, to try to show some self-preservation. His head snapped up and I could see blood coating the inside of his mouth- he had bitten his tongue or something.

_Good!_

His eyes narrowed as he pressed his hand down on my stomach to hold me down; then he stared at me for a while longer to see how I would react.

I didn't want to give him any reaction he wanted. I moved my hips again, this time side to side, trying to get out from under his hold, it was pretty useless, but I didn't want to go down without a fight.

"Keep fightin' I like it' He sneered.

"Fuck you, Mac"

His free hand connected with my check sending hot sparks across it.

I didn't respond other than to move my head back to neutral so I could glare at him.

"That all you got?" I asked sweetly

He smacked me again, harder; it felt like my cheek would split open- I loved it.

When I opened my eyes again to look at him- he was smirking again.

"I knew you were still a fighter"

"Fuck. You." I repeated again.

He smiled, revealing his rotted teeth, and moved his mouth back down to my sopping wet clit. He spread me open and I felt euphoric as his tongue entered me, licking up my wetness.

One hand was still on my stomach, holding me down, while the other rested on my thigh. His mouth was claiming me while I begged myself to stay strong.

His tongue was jutting in and out of me, working expertly, while I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood- I could taste the metallic liquid mixing with my saliva.

Then, his tongue was back on my clit and his fingers were entering me, reaching the place he knew well. He knew how to take me over the edge and I hated him for it.

_He cheated, he is a meth head, and he will always fuck around on you!_

I desperately tried to convince myself that this was not worth how much he could hurt me- but before I could really get a handle on myself, I felt my stomach clenching and the tingle shift down my spine as his mouth and fingers worked an orgasm out of me.

"OH GOD" I cried out unable to hold it in. I lay there as he worked me through my orgasm, pulling everything out of me.

"Fuck you!" I said weakly.

He brought his face up to mine and crashed his mouth on to mine so I could taste myself. His tongue demanded entrance which I fought, but he eventually won. Blood, spit, whiskey, and chemicals invaded my mouth until I couldn't stand it anymore. I turned my head to gasp for breath, willing my heartbeat to slow so I could thing straight. He didn't allow it for long though, he brought his hand up to my face, gripping my jaw hard, making me look back to him.

His mouth assaulted mine, invading me and making me moan.

Then, in one swift movement, he thrust himself inside of me. I sucked in hard, suppressing the amazing feeling so he wouldn't get any satisfaction. He broke away from my mouth allowing me to see him thrust over me-his arms on either side of my head, his muscles working hard.

I watched his shoulders bob above me, making me wetter, making me want him.

"FUCK!" I shouted- the sound bounced off the walls. His face was intense as he worked above me- I wanted to touch him, to drag my nails down his back, dig in to his powerful arms, and hold his shoulders while he brought me to another orgasm.

It hit me hard; I lost my breath as the feeling washed over me. He grunted above me, responding to my clenching pussy.

"Fuck, baby" He grunted.

Then I felt his shoot into me, warm and heavy. He grunted more and he released himself inside of me, filling me up.

"Goddamn you" I whispered, barely able to stay conscious

"God ain't here, Kate" He said, laying his sweaty body on mine.

"Why the fuck did you do that, Mac" I didn't know if I was talking about the whore or his cutting the power-either way I wanted an answer.

"Got you to come here didn't it" he replied, pulling himself up so I could see his face.

"You shut off my power so I would come find you?" I asked, anger rising in me again

He didn't say anything, just stared in my eyes.

"What about Rachel- I am not going to stay with you while you fuck her-or anyone else"

"You don't have to"

"What?"

"I'm not fucking her, Kate. I never did"

"You just let her blow you"

"You left. She wanted something and didn't have money"

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever fucking heard. SO if I leave it is okay for you to get blown by some unsuccessful whore who wants drugs?"

He didn't answer.

"Well?" I demanded. He didn't say anything. "How about if I fuck Mark, because I don't have money to pay for a tune up"

He grimaced "The fuck you will"

"That's what I thought. Get your dick out of me and let me up"

He pulled out of me and sat up between my legs, watching me.

"I ain't gunna let ya go"

"Walter knows I am here, and I have to work tonight. If I don't show up, he'll know where to look"

"He ain't gunna come" he said standing up. He pulled his overalls back up over himself and shoved his arms back in. "I have to work, so you just sit here and wait for me to get done- then we'll play some more"

"Oh I can't fucking wait." I hissed.

He smirked, pulled his mask back down and then turned his back on me to walk over to a table. I watched his back while he mixed and cooked his little concoction. After a while, the heat and the satisfaction lulled me off into a sleep, while he nodded his head along to the screaming from his CD player.


	14. Chapter 14

**CH 14: I'm a fucking monster**

I cracked my eyes open, they were heavy and dry from sleeping in the heat. My hands and feet had been untied and I was on my side in a ball, alone.

"Ma-" I cleared my throat, it was dry and felt like it would crack open "Mac?" I called, my voice echoed around the cave. There was no answer; just the buzz of the lights and the fan in the corner. I uncurled my naked body and stretched out while I sat up; there was a bottle of water next to the mattress. I opened it and gulped it down, desperate for any kind of moisture, closing my eyes at the wetness as I felt it flow down inside of me.

"MAC!" I called out again, my throat allowing me to put more gusto behind my cry this time. "Mac, you fuck, where are you?"

As I stood up my attention went between my legs; I was sore, there was a burning pressure that made me grab myself and rub. "jesus christ" I muttered to the pain. I walked around the small cave, for a moment while I adjusted; the place was a meth heads paradise.

I wrinkled my nose and shivered, remembering what he was capable while on this shit; which he clearly was again.

I walked over to the disgusting mattress and got dressed as fast as I could, then discovered my shoes were gone. "You fuck" I muttered under my breath, he just wasn't going to make this easy. I wandered through the darkness where sharp rocks poked my feet, making me stumble around. There was a bright light shining at the end, it was daytime, but was it the same day?

When I finally got to the edge of the cave I saw what I had feared in the back of my mind; my car was gone. The sun was straight up in the sky, so I had been in the cave for at least one whole night. I could see the heat rising from the red dirt, which meant trying to walk across it back to town wasn't an option.

"Well that is just fucking perfect!" I screamed into the desert.

I walked back into the darkness to see if there was anything I could make shoes out of, or if there was a CB or a phone, anything. I had to use my hands on the rocky sides of the cave while my eyes adjusted to the darkness again. I tripped over something big and fell onto my hands, my knees landing on the hard rocks making me cry out. At this point I was running off of pure rage; my body was shaking and I was ready to murder him. I stood up slowly, but tripped over something again and fell right back down.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed through the cave. I felt around trying to see what it was that was causing me so much trouble. My hand grazed sharp rocks and dirt, then something moist, then something smooth and hairy, and cool. I grabbed it and felt the shape, trying to figure out what the hell Mac had done now. I slid my hands across the smooth, hairy surface until I came to a hand.

"Oh fuck" my stomach was in a knot, and I felt sick. Why couldn't I smell this person though? Maybe they weren't dead. I continued moving my hands over the body until I felt breasts, a naked female. I continued my movement up to the face so I could listen for breathing and see if I could find a heartbeat.

I leaned my head down to their face in the darkness, pressing my ear close to the mouth listening for breath while my hand moved up to the pulse point on the neck.

"Come on, come on!"

There was neither breath, nor pulse, but they hadn't been dead too long. I moved my hands down to the chest, estimating where the heart would be, and began CPR. "Come on" I repeated over and over; my new mantra.

After several minutes I had exhausted myself and hadn't gotten anywhere; the body was still dead. I sat there next to it for a long time, trying to decide whether I really wanted to know who it was that was next to me. After a while, I took a deep breath and found the body again, moving my hands down the torso so I could at least get their shoes. As I reached the lower part of the torso, just between her hip bones, I felt the stickiness again; it was all over her "oh fuck" I said moving through the stickiness down her legs; she still had flip flops on. I pulled the shoe off her left foot and jammed it on my foot, then I felt around for her other leg; of course that shoe was gone.

I moved my hands across the rough, cold ground, searching through the dirt and rocks for the other shoe "come on, come on" I chanted to myself again. Finally I found it; it was several feet away from where the body was. I jammed it on my other foot and stood up, preparing myself to drag her back into the cave so I could see who it was.

My hands were caked in blood and dirt; it felt like I was wearing gloves. I wiped them off a bit on my pants and too the girl's arm in my hands and began to pull her toward the light of the cave since it was just a bit closer than taking her back out.

She didn't weigh too much, but the jagged, uneven ground made it hard to pull her smoothly. I felt bad every time I felt the body catch on something, making me have to pull harder; she was going to be torn up after this.

As I got closer to the light, I could start making out features; brown hair, small nose, fake lips, a tattoo above her heart.

I pulled her into the light and stared at her for a moment, he face was covered in dirt and blood, like a mud mask. I found a dirty cloth on a table and wiped her down; it was Rachel.

"Oh my god" I gasped into my hand "What the fuck did you do, Mac?" I sat down next to her and stared at the whore's face, speechless.

I moved my eyes sown to her torso where the blood seemed to be coming from and saw several knife wounds in her side; he had cut her up bad. There was no way she would have lived through that. I moved my eyes back up to the tattoo on her heart and my breath caught; MAC was scrawled our in swirly letters just over her heart.

My mind began racing, all kinds of ideas popping into mind. They used to be together- so did he leave her making her leave town? Did he get her hooked on meth?

I brushed her matted hair off her face and looked at her; she really was beautiful, she just got mixed up with the wrong people.

I had to get out of the cave; it was shrinking more and more, and the chemicals were making my head swim. I found a flashlight on one of the tables and cursed myself for not thinking to look earlier. I shone the light down the tunnel and came to where Rachel had been left; there was a pool of blood that had mixed in with the dirt, making a large puddle. I closed my eyes and kept moving, still wondering how I hadn't smelled the metallic of the blood. I made it back outside with minimal trouble; the light assaulted my eyes making me shield them with my arm. After a while I took my arm away and looked around; there was nothing out here, and the road was at least a mile away, but nobody was ever on that road anyway.

I started walking down the worn path that led to the road, wishing I hadn't drunk all the water back in the cave.

It took me well over 2 hours to make it back to the Luna Mesa, where my car was parked. I burst in the bar and looked around for Mac so I could murder him in front of the few people who were sitting around. I didn't register their faces, but they all looked at my blood soaked, and dirt covered clothes, curious, but silent.

"WALTER!" I called to the old man who had allowed me to be left in that fucking cave.

"Kate!" I heard Terra say from across the room. I held my hand up to tell her to back off for a second.

Walter wandered out from the back, limping on his cane "Hi honey" he said lightly, though his expression was fierce. He lifted up the counter door and motioned for me to come back. I hesitated for a minute, but the looks I was getting were unnerving.

"Watch things" he said to Terra, and then he started walking toward the back.

I followed the old man, ready to take the cane from him and beat him senseless. We walked into the small back room he used as storage. He turned to me slowly and looked me up and down.

"Yer alrigh' then" he said bringing his eyes back to me.

"No, I am NOT fucking alright, Walter, why did you leave me there. Mac fucking KILLED R-" he held his hand up to shut me up; his eyes were terrifyingly intense.

"Mac was arrested" he said after a moment

"Good!" I spat out "Fucker de-" he cut me off again

"I left ye there because the police want ye too; you were safer there" he said resting both hands on his cane, leaning on it.

"what!? W- why?" I stuttered

"Ryan" He said, like it should be obvious.

"But I gave them alibies, there-what-" I stopped to collect my thoughts "What do they have?"

"Ryan's father showed up- he said he knew Ryan was comin' down te see ye" He shrugged "I'm not sure beyond that"

"Call them, let them bring me in" I said after a moment of thinking about it. "I will go over things with Ryan's father and the police, and I will get this fixed.

Walter didn't say anything; he just nodded and headed back out to the front. After I got my shaking body back under control I followed him out.

"I am going home to change; tell them I will be here in an hour" I said grabbing my keys Terra was holding out "I'll be fine" I said to her worried face.

I drove home faster than I ever had. I showered, put my hair up on top of my head, threw my nasty clothes into the garbage, and dressed in something fresh. I grabbed a bottle of water and headed back to the bar to wait for the out-of-town police to come and collect me.

When I pulled up there were already 2 unmarked police cars waiting in the lot. I pulled up between them and got out, the officers getting out as well; one was fat and bald, the other, not so bad looking and tall.

"I heard you want me?" I said as sweetly as I could with my stomach clenching.

"Ma'am, we have to take you in" was all the bigger one said, bringing the cuffs out from his belt.

"I'll come, you don't need those" I said walking over to his car. I looked at him to confirm that was okay, and he nodded.

I opened the door and slid in to the back seat behind the fat man; he pulled out quickly heading to the next town over.

"SO, what is this all about?" I asked

"We need to wait until we get to the station" he said looking at me in the rearview mirror.

"You can't even tell me what the issue is?" I asked making my voice ooze charm

"It is in regards to the disappearance of Ryan Fields"

"Ryan? I thought we cleared that up?"

"His father paid us a visit, now no more talking until we get there"

I sat back in the seat and looked out the window at the passing hills; I was panicked inside, but I had always been good at hiding my emotions if I wanted to.

I could feel the fat man looking at me in the mirror which made me want to strangle him, but his partner would be on me way too fast for me to get away with it.

It took just over 40 minutes to get to the station; it was a bigger than ours, but it looked just as run down. Officer Fatty came around and opened my door for me and led me by my arm inside, while officer Hottie walked behind us.

I looked around but Mac wasn't anywhere in sight, which meant he was either being interrogated or he was locked up.

Officer Fatty sat me down in front of a desk that looked like it was about ready to collapse, and then sat in the chair behind it.

"We're going to record this conversation" he said bringing the antiquated tape player out from a drawer and placing it in the center of the desk.

"Where is Mr. Fields?" I asked cocking my head to the side. "Surely he would like to speak to me?"

Officer Fatty glanced over to a door quickly, then unconvincingly said "Mr. Fields isn't here right now"

I looked at the door he had eyed, then back to him, cocking my eyebrow. "Uh hu" I crossed my arms and sat back in the chair waiting for this to start.

"This is Officer Colt of the Mayville Police Department. I am with Kate Mctyrnie from Cainville. It is 2:43 pm on Saturday June 8th, 2013." He blabbed into the microphone.

_Officer Colt? I think I like Officer Fatty better._

"Miss Mctyrnie, can you tell me where you were on the night of May 2nd, 2013?"

"Really? Um, no- do you know where you were that night?"

He eyed me for a moment. "How do you know Ryan Fields?"

"We dated back in Austin, he cheated on me, then I left." I said. Short and sweet was the way to go with this.

"He cheated on you- must have made you angry" he was nudging me

"It did, for a while, that is why I left. We were done anyway, so it wasn't a great loss"

"Why did you go to Cainville?"

"My uncle brought me here"

"Your uncle?"

"Walter, he owned the Luna Mesa"

"He is your biological uncle?"

"Not that it matters, but no, he and my father were very close."

"Your parents were killed, is that correct?" he asked looking through paperwork

"Yes"

"How did that happen?"

"Fuck off." Way too personal there buddy

"Excuse me?"

"I said fuck off, that has nothing to do with Ryan- or you"

He looked at me for a moment, considering me. "So you left to be with your—Walter"

"Yes"

"Did Ryan come to see you?"

"Yes"

"when was that?"

"I don't know the exact date- it's been a while"

"What did he want?"

"Me, he tried to rape me after I told him I didn't want to talk to him"

Officer Fatty stared at me, his eyes narrowed. "Go on"

"Mac came and beat him up, got him away from me, then he got in his car and left. Mac and I went back to my place and fucked"

"After nearly being raped?"

"Yes. See I actually wanted Mac- big difference"

"Still that must have been traumatizing"

"It would have been if he had gotten any further"

"Sounds like you are lucky then"

I rolled my eyes at him and looked around the station; it was more of a shit hole inside than Cainvilles. When I brought my eyes back to Officer Fatty his eyes were on my chest where cleavage was showing. I scoffed at him, which brought his attention back to my eyes.

"So on the night that Ryan disappeared- the 2nd of May, you didn't have any contact with him after he left in his vehicle."

"That's right."

He looked through his notes some more.

"Same story you gave earlier- same story Mac is claiming"

"SO what is the problem?"

"The problem is that his car was abandoned and he has not been found"

"Could have gotten lost" I offered

"His car had gas and was left off the side of the highway- why would he do that?"

"Pee break?"

"You seem awfully calm about this miss Mctyrnie"

"He is a cheating asshole who tried to rape me, how much sympathy can I give him?"

He closed the file and leaned back in his chair; it creaked under his weight. His eyes rolled over me, taking me in. After at least a couple of minutes of staring at each other he sighed and stood up.

"You're free to go" he said sounding frustrated.

"And Mac?"

"Ya, ya, your boyfriend too" He got his keys out and tossed them to Officer Hottie who walked to the back where the holding cells were probably located. Moments later he came back with Mac behind him.

Mac eyed me but didn't say anything; meanwhile I was afraid if I heard him speak I would end up using one of the officers' guns to shoot him.

"Officer Mason will take you back" Officer Fatty said, sitting back down at his desk.

The ride back was quiet, I didn't look at him at all and didn't care if he was looking at me; we were stuck together in the back seat, forced to be civil.

When Officer Hottie dropped us back at the Mesa, I brushed his arm as I passed, thanking him for his kindness. He nodded and blushed.

Mac stood there, glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes and started toward my car, still pent up with enough anger that I could do more than punch him.

I passed him and grabbed the door handle before I felt his hand cover my wrist tightly. "Where do ye think yer goin?" he whispered in my ear. I ground my teeth together and turned pulled my wrist out of his grasp. He slammed me against the car, my boobs pressing into the glass. He brought my hands onto the roof on the car, being held tightly by his, and pressed his erection into my ass.

"Mac, you fucking asshole" I said thrashing around out of his grip. I stepped away from him, tears forming in my eyes. "What the fuck are you _DOING!"_ I yelled at him, angrier now that I was crying too.

He stepped toward me again, but I stepped back every step he took forward. "You are a monster, Mac" I said over my tears 'I don't understand you"

"Let me explain then" he said still moving toward me. I was backing up closer and closer to his truck until my ass finally met with the tailgate.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say, it's bullshit"

He pressed himself into me, his hands snaking their way around my waist tightly. He pressed his rancid mouth on to mine roughly, making my breath catch and my eyes close. He moved his hands down to my thighs and lifted me up to sit on the tailgate while his mouth worked on mine.

Even after what he'd done, I was still drawn to him; I still belonged to him and his dirty, fucked up life.

I allowed my hands to curl into his hair, bringing him into me, our tongues fighting for control in each other's mouths. He finally broke away and pulled my shirt above my head and tossed it to the ground, and then he undid my shorts and pulled them down roughly. He crawled over my body, forcing me to lie down on the warm metal of his truck bed.

He moved his mouth down my torso, dragging his tongue over my skin, and then biting me, leaving small marks all over. He grabbed my legs and tossed them over his shoulders them planted his face between my legs; "Wet" was all he said before he plunged his tongue in me.

"Oh god!" I cried out involuntarily, his tongue licked straight up my slit, then back inside of me making my whole body tingle. "Fuck, Mac, FUCK" I cried out again.

He kept licking, sucking, and biting me, making my body soar until I came, hard, screaming his name. He slowly crawled up my body, straddling me while he shimmied his giant shoulders out of his coveralls. He pulled them down his body and down to his ankles; he hadn't removed his boots so his clothes bunched at the top of them. He brought him mouth back down on mine, while his hands supported himself above me. My hands found his ass, pulling him into me.

He thrust into me, suddenly, all of our anger coming out in our moans. I pulled his hair hard, making him reveal his neck to me so I could suck on it. I could feel his pulse under my lips as he kept up his pattern above me.

"Come for me again" he said bringing his eyes back to mine. "Come for me now"

His voice, like a trigger, brought me to the edge again, my muscles tightening around his cock, while he rode out my orgasm.

"Atta girl" he whispered. "Now it's my turn" He buried his face in my shoulder, biting. I raised my hips into him more, desperate to feel him deeper He grunted against my collarbone for a few more thrusts before he exploded; that familiar hot and heavy feeling settling inside of me.

He collapsed on my chest, something he'd never done before, as my hands rubbed over his back, feeling his breathing slow. We laid like that for several minutes before I couldn't handle his weight anymore.

"Tell me now" I whispered

He raised his head, his eyes droopy with the aftershock of out sex. "Not here".

He pulled out of me and pulled up his coveralls while I waited for him to retrieve my clothes.

Once we were dressed, he opened the passenger door of his truck and I climbed in, waiting for him to slide in beside me.

We drove to my house in absolute silence, my stomach in knots again; we were going to go over everything tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

**CH 15: mysterious mysteries**

I stood in my kitchen after pouring us a couple of drinks; my body was still shaking from finding Rachel, the dealing with the police; it had been a rough couple of days. Honestly, I was even a little mad at myself for allowing Mac back in my home, back in my life at all. I couldn't control it though; I had to have him, even with all of the shit he put me through.

I grabbed the drinks and went out to the living room to meet him on the couch; he hadn't turned on any lights, so the only light was from the oven range in the kitchen.

"here" I said holding the whiskey out to him

I sat next on the other side of the couch from him, wanting to distance myself from him so I could really listen to what he was saying without being captivated by his smell.

He took the drink and downed half of it in one gulp, and then he set it down and looked at me.

I had no idea what to do or say, I wanted to blurt out everything in my head, but I couldn't formulate a proper thought, so I stayed silent, waiting for him to say something.

After several minutes on playing with my hands and fidgeting in my seat, I finally cracked under his stare.

"Mac-" I struggled with what I wanted to know first. "You're doing drugs again, right?" I figured that would give me a base to start at, it would at least explain his actions lately.

"Yes" he barked

"Don't be a dick, you said you would explain, I am going to ask questions, just be honest"

He cocked his head at me in interest.

"Alrigh'. Yes I am doing drugs again" he raised his eyebrow like he expected a fight; It wouldn't come, I knew who he was before I got in to all of this.

"Ok." His actions were explained now; still there were gaps, things that were eating at me.

He sighed heavily, relaxing into the couch.

"Ok, so I understand about Ryan- you won't find me questioning that ever again." I took a huge gulp of my drink, a little liquid courage was necessary. "But….what was…I….Rachel- Mac, what happened with Rachel?" god I sounded as jumbled as I felt.

He looked at me intently, the lack of light made his face dark and menacing. He drank the rest of his drink and tossed the empty glass on the couch between us.

"She and I were…together, I guess, for a couple of months back a few years ago. She was the goody cheerleader in high school, so I made it my mission to bag her and fuck with her a bit. Trouble was, she said she loved me". An expression of pain crossed his face for a second before he continued "I wasn't going to be caught up in tha' shit. Anyway, she got really clingy, needy, pathetic; I didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore." He shrugged "She didn't let up, so I brought her to the cave to show her what I was really like-gave her a dose of my special pills for good measure. The bitch got hooked"

I kept my face neutral, listening hard to each word. He had never really talked about his past at all; all I knew I had found out from Walter, but that was sparse- pieced together.

I took another drink, then handed him the rest of what was in my glass; he drank the rest in one gulp and then set the glass on the floor.

"Well, she told me she was pregnant- trying to get me to stay with her, but I didn't believe her-didn't want to. She moved away, all doped up, to try to become a stripper or some shit. About a year after she left, she sent me a picture of a kid- said it was mine- said that she had given him up to her sister in Montana or something. That's the last I heard of her for a couple of years. Then she calls me up to tell me that she is moving back- like I would care" he shrugged again. "That was the day after you left-" he was playing with his scruff on his face now; clearly uncomfortable. "So she showed up, strung out and wanting some more- but she had spent all the money she had gotten on the trip back. So, she played up how good she had gotten at giving head, and offered it as a trade. I said ok" he ended the sentence like it was the most obvious conclusion in the world. He didn't go on right away, so I scrunched my forehead at him.

"Go on- why was she dead in the cave?"

He furrowed his brow at me, confusion settling in "What? What are you talking about?"

"Mac, I found her, she was stabbed and dumped in the tunnel to the cave- why?"

"I didn't touch her" He said sitting up

"Maybe you don't remember?" I asked, who else would have killed her?

"After I left you-after we fucked, I went to deliver the stock to Walter. I told him you were passed out in the cave- he told me to take the stock to the guy in the next town, but when I went out to do it, the cops were there- they took me in"

My stomach was tight again. I was fine with dating a psycho, but when there was someone else that rivaled him it made me nervous. We sat looking at each other for a few more minutes, trying to figure out what had happened.

"Mac- are you sure, I mean who-"

"M' fucking sure" he snapped.

I stood up and paced, I couldn't sit still anymore.

"Ok, so the cave- you untied me right- gave me the water?"

"What? Fuck no, I thought I was coming right back- was gunna fuck you again"

"…and how did she even get to the cave? There were no other cars, and mine was gone"

"I took yours"

"What did you do with your truck?"

"I had Mark and Harley come up for it"

"Why- that doesn't even make any sense"

"Walter told me to deliver the shit" he said bitterly "So I told them to go get my truck cause I want going to drive your car to deliver in"

"Ok, but how did Rachel get out there?"

He shrugged, watching me pace

"Is that all you know about Rachel? Why did she have your name tattooed on her?"

"She said it was the kid's name- said she named him after me"

I was ready to vomit "You have a fucking kid, Mac"

"I don't know that for sure- doesn't change anything anyway. What the fuck am I going to do, move to the suburbs and raise the little bastard?" He smirked at his own hilarity.

"Whatever- ok" I said swallowing hard. "Did the stuff get delivered?" I asked trying to get everything pieced together.

"Walter had someone do it- Harley I think"

"Oh god, Walter had the fucking police deliver drugs to someone?" I asked chuckling. "Only Walter" I said in disbelief.

He cracked a small smile at my chuckle; he seemed to have relaxed a bit more.

He got up from the couch and walked over to me. "You understand me" he said referring to what I had said before. "You know me".

He brought his hand up to my throat, squeezing while his mouth found mine. He kissed me hard His hands wrapped around my body pulling me in to him; he stole my breath.

I pushed him away, my hands firmly on his chest, while my body screamed at me in protest.

"Doesn't this worry you?" I asked panting

"No" he grabbed my arms, pulling me in to him again, his erection pressing on my hipbone.

I moaned as him mouth crashed onto mine again; this time my hands found his hair where I could pull him in closer.

He had kissed his way down my body until he was on his knees, rubbing my over my shorts; while one of my legs was tossed over his shoulder, when someone banged on my door.

"Kate, its Terra- open up!"

"Hold that thought" I said as he stood up. He threw himself on the couch while I answered the door.

"Hey, Terra, this is kind of a-"

"They just found Rachel; you know, the whore who sucked Mac off- she's dead"

Clearly she was still bitter on my behalf.

"They found her?" I wondered who they hell was prowling around the caves that would possibly turn in a dead body. "What? Wow, what happened?" I asked trying to sound innocent and interested.

"She was stabbed, like 7 times- one of the guys found her back behind the Mesa last night" She actually looked rather sad, despite the fact that she hated her.

My legs almost dropped out from under me "Behind the Mesa?" there was no reason she should be there; she was supposed to be up in the cave. I looked over the couch at Mac who had his eyes closed; he was lying down.

Terra spotted him too and she threw me the most vicious glare I had ever gotten "What the fuck, Kate!" she yelled pushing past me to go stand over Mac's resting body.

"You fucker- you don't get to treat people like this- you fucking drug head, murderer!"

I pulled her by the arm back away from Mac, whose knife missed her by inches.

"TERRA, LEAVE!" I pushed her toward the door, all we need was another murder "I will call you later" I said pushing her out, shutting the door behind her.

I glared at Mac "That isn't what we need right now- leave her alone, she is my friend" I said slapping his legs out of the way so I could sit down.

"Fuck, Mac- she was in the cave! I took her shoes, it was her! I drug her halfway through that cave just to see who it was" I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "How did she get down to the Mesa?"

~~sorry it is so short- I am dealing with life and fucking college...~~


End file.
